Just how far will men go to get laid? According to a recent paper by the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology, men are programmed by nature to risk death — if necessary — to score. This academic study lays out evolutionary and biological reasons behind the recklessness of males, and describes to what lengths men are driven to go in order to facilitate the spreading of their seed. The urge to procreate is primal within every species — humans not excluded. Many species will go to extreme lengths to spread their genes — one disturbing example is within the lion world where males routinely kill unrelated infant lions in order to bring their mothers back into heat. Although the vast majority of male humans would never entertain such a thing — we are willing to literally put our lives at risk when it comes to sex.
The researchers behind this study theorize that this difference between the genders relates to their respective roles within child bearing and rearing. Although current society has transcended the era of women spending their lives “pregnant and in the kitchen”, the traditional role as the primary party responsible for rearing children imparted a sense of caution to females. They were programmed to protect themselves in order to protect their kids — absent fathers could go get themselves killed and their kids would still be fine so long as their mother remained ok. This resulted in a male reckless streak — and the primary prehistoric urge to procreate served to drive men to take great risks while in pursuit of pussy. These primordial urges and behaviors still linger with us today.
Sometimes an old fashioned score needs to be settled between friends. That is all that is going on here and the beauty of the request lies in its simplicity: friends can’t see friends’ penises, friends’ girlfriends can’t see friends’ penises, so there is a problem in need of a solution.
Seems easy enough, but there are some issues raised that need to be explored. First of all, there is the problem that the measurements are to be done individually and that is understandable as it would be, like, totally gay to whip out the cocks in the same room. However, this places way too much trust in the measuring girl. All kind of sparks have been known to fly when shlongs get whipped out with a guy and girl in a room together. This can lead to favoritism and inaccurate reporting of the measurements. There would need to be another, independent girl playing the role of penis measuring “auditor”. Call her the KPMG girl.
Assuming KPMG girl has to be paid also, the question of how much is this measurement worth comes up. We want to know what is the bet between the two original friends worth? If it is just an argument, as they state, they would have to put some of their own betting stakes on the contest to offset the costs of measuring girl and KPMG girl. That’s just basic economics. Once all that is settled, my friends, you have cleared the way for a proper penis measuring contest.
