Rec sex: Short for “recreational sex,” this kind of fucking-for-the-fun-of-it usually comes from a positive, happy place; in other words, if you were depressed or heartbroken or enraged, the sex you had shouldn’t officially be called rec sex. But, really, any sex between two or more consenting adults outside of a long-term relationship could be referred to as rec sex. And rec sex doesn’t ensure that there won’t be any negative consequences (like heartbreak, jealousy, confusion, or STDs). But while you’re doing it, you’re not worried about the future: You’re in the moment. Rec sex is often employed as a more cheery synonym for casual sex, and is particularly common after one has sold a first novel, won the lottery, or received a refund on their tax return.

Booty call sex: Sex with a friend-with-benefits or a new lust interest that’s arranged via a phone call or text message made after 11 p.m.—usually because there are no better prospects and/or you’ve been drinking.

Appointment sex: A more formalized version of the booty call. This kind of sex scheduling is usually done more than twenty-four hours in advance, when both parties are sober. Email invitations tend to be favored over more casual text messaging messages or impromptu phone calls. This kind of arrangement happens more frequently among the older set—work-a-holics, recovering alcoholics, single parents, people for whom fart jokes have lost their charm, i.e., those who no longer have the patience (or the liver) to wait until closing time to make a booty call.

Ex sex: Sex with a previous partner, usually because they’re easy and you’re lazy. A.k.a. double dipping, blue- binning, recycling, returning to the well.

Cereal sex: A random one-night stand in the middle of a sexual/romantic dry spell: It’s delicious while it lasts, but it’s not filling, and an hour later you’re hungrier than you were before you “ate.”

Deja sex: Unexpected sex with someone you weren’t planning on seeing or sleeping with again. For instance, after a few keg stands, you spent one of your last college Saturday nights in a room at Theta Kai with what’s-his-name, never to see him again, until ten years later when you bump into him at the international trade convention in Dallas, and, after a few Maker’s Marks at the Hilton, end up in his room, for old time’s sake.

Drive-thru sex: Convenient sex, i.e., you stop by for a quickie and then keep on moving. (“I hate to boff and run, but I’ve got a plane to catch … ”).

Mercy sex: Sex with someone you are not particularly attracted to or don’t necessarily want to do. You do it simply because you feel sorry for them: Perhaps they’ve had a crush on you since sixth grade and swear they want “just one night of passion to help me move on,” their pet goldfish just died, you know they’ll be extra “giving” in the sack in return, you know this is your only hope of “deprogramming” them out of their cultish Trekkie community, their heart was just put through a blender (by you or someone else), they haven’t had sex in a long time and have no prospects, they’re dying of cancer, they’re thirty years old and still a virgin. A.k.a. charity work (most often used as a negative rebuttal, as in “I don’t do charity work.” Oh, snap!)

Comfort sex: The sexual equivalent of mac and cheese: sex after a bad day at work, a terrible break up, a tragic pet death—anything that makes you long for the consoling feel of warm skin on skin, of connecting with another soul. You usually have to find someone willing to have mercy sex with you, and when you do, it’s slow, deliberate, usually missionary, with face-holding and perhaps Rachmaninoff playing in the background. But while it may feel good in the moment, comfort sex, like comfort food, will usually make you feel worse after it’s all said and done.

Occasion sex: A one-night stand and casual sex due to a specific circumstance, such as a power outage, a heat wave, an announcement of war, a notification that the terror alert is raised to orange, a new Al Green album. Occasion sex may be celebratory (Obama wins the presidential election, you win the lottery, good hair day) or commiserative (Ah-nold wins the presidential election after a Constitutional amendment qualifies him, death of a pet, bad haircut).

Palate cleansing: Rebound sex that obliterates the bad taste left in your mouth (not literally) by a recent ex. A.k.a. sorbet sex.

Temp work: Casual sex you have until a better, more permanent relationship comes along. Thus, an overzealous matchmaking friend, an adult online personals site, an escort service, a brothel, or an “Overeaters Anonymous” conference could all be considered “temp agencies.”

Hate sex: When lust trumps like. Sex with someone who annoys you is a drag, but sex with someone you hate with every pore of your being? Now, that’s hot. Not on a regular basis, of course (that’s just depressing), but sometimes it’s just what the shrink ordered. And you just know there’s no relationship in it, because you’d kill each other first. Push each other around, pull each other’s hair, bite each other’s shoulders, and yell, “I hate you!” right as you climax. It’s like an enema for the soul.

Ah yes, CSBF. It can save your life, save your sanity, allow you to relax, and cause you to seem less desperate. But is it healthy? Let’s investigate a little further. First off, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, CSBF= Casual Sex Between Friends. On with the pro’s.

Pro’s:
- Sex
- Drunken silly meaningless sex
- Hot drunken silly meaningless sex
- Having a friend to talk to
- He leaves when it’s done
- Being able to relax during sex and do things you would normally never do for fear of not being a “good girl”
- Calls at 1am (either way)
- No strings attached
- Being able to date without the sex urge, so you can get to know someone knowing you can always “get it” when you need it
- Avoiding giving off an aura of desperation
- Did I mention hot sex?

Con’s:
- Possible emotional attachment from either party
- He leaves when it’s done (sometimes a girl just needs a good cuddle)
- The ability to do things you wouldn’t normally do
- Guilt after (although I have never felt this so let me know how that feels)
- Calls at 4am
- No strings attached also means either party can walk away at any given point, leaving the other high and dry
- Having possible relationship interests find out about it (trust me: not fun)
- The feeling that “this is the best I can get, for now”
- Coming in second place
- Possible loss of friendship
- Having to deal with the fact that there might be others (jealousy factor for both)

As you can see, both lists are weighty. And yes, as I do have CSBF on occasion I find myself leaning more toward the “pro” list. I have been able to have a lot of fun, with very very close male friends, who believe it or not, remain very close friends. It is essential in this situation to make sure the ground rules are clearly set out from the get go. If you expect to go out in public with this person, for a drink, a movie, dinner or what have you, make that clear from the beginning. If however, the late night booty call is perfectly acceptable to you and him, then have fun with it, and feel no need for guilt!

In this world of trying to find someone with whom we feel a deep, long lasting connection with (mainly in vain) it is nice to have someone on “standby,” you know, for those nights when you feel like you are the only single girl in the world; you don’t feel sexy; you feel dejected and let down by the dating world in general. It can be an extraordinary ego boost, if approached as such. Who doesn’t need a good ego boost, (with a bonus orgasm), every once in a while?

If I finally find someone who I connect with on a much more “relationship” level, my friend and I have an agreement that our visits are over. He is fine with that, although he dreads the day, and I guess a wee part of me does too.

Oh I know what you’re thinking now, “Why aren’t you with this guy?” It’s a long story but suffice to say, I know what I want in a relationship, and I know he can’t give me what I want and need. Except for this. He gives me love and friendship, and a damn fine time. So that’s the way it is. We both know it. Neither one of us is “in love” with the other, however we love and respect each other as friends, and always will.

So, I say go for it! Why be lonely? Why be miserable? But most importantly, why be horny?

Oh, and this should go without saying but always play safe. You never know how many casual sex friends the other has in their life!

Casual sex and one-night stands are almost always framed as damaging to women, particularly young women. In recent years, writers like Laura Sessions Stepp and Wendy Shalit have issued dire warnings about the alleged dangers of sex outside of committed relationships.

Let’s call this rhetoric what it is: a tired repeat of the sexist double standards that have haunted women for centuries. (The subtitle of Shalit’s second book, “It’s Not Bad To Be Good,” clearly articulates the regressive notion that chastity and sexual restraint renders one “good.”)

The idea that women are so fragile that a bad one night stand leaves them scarred —or “in turmoil” as Laura Sessions Stepp puts it—is destructive. (So is the common belief that men are incapable of feeling empty or sad after a similar encounter; Sessions Stepp absurdly claims that when it comes to being in turmoil, “boys are not.”)

With consensual, no-strings-attached sex so regularly under fire, the positive aspects of “hooking up” rarely come to light. Here are six ways that having (safe) sex outside of a monogamous relationship might actually be good for you.

1. Asserting your desires can create a tremendous sense of power.

The word “empowerment” is so fraught as to be nearly useless. But for girls who are constantly bombarded with the message that they need commitment before enjoying sex, there’s real strength in freeing their sex drive from conservative norms.

Some women don’t need a deep spiritual connection in order to enjoy carnal pursuits and some men do; the old stereotypes aren’t useful in navigating your own needs, and breaking anachronistic expectations through experience could lead you to a better understanding of your own sexuality. Sex educator Heather Corinna’s ongoing, massive survey of sexual experience and attitudes—8,553 respondents so far (4,990 women, 81% casual sex participants)—shows many women have sex outside of relationships for that very reason: 80% of her respondents chose “to find out more about my sexuality” as a motivation for having casual sex.

Similarly, almost 80% cited their desire “to feel free/uninhibited,” which leads us to the next point.

2. It might help you transcend your inhibitions.

When most of us embark on a new relationship, we’re inundated with anxieties. We usually want to please the other person and we want them to think well of us, because we think highly of them and we want to make the connection last. Above all, we definitely don’t want to weird them out with our strange fantasies and turn-ons. We save that type of honesty for much later, when we feel safer. Many couples never share at all: lack of disclosure is the norm for married couples in a variety of ways, whether the issue is finances or hopes and dreams. In a 2001 poll, only 52% of male respondents and 62% of female respondents told their spouses about their sexual history.

There’s less at stake emotionally with a casual partner. This is the very target at which critics aim their arrows—how can women enjoy sex without an emotional connection?!—but this lack of investment can be freeing. It’s the same relative anonymity that causes some people to blurt out their deepest secrets to their hairdresser or a taxi driver. When we’re with someone who isn’t a fixture of our daily life, our egos relax enough to let a little authenticity come through. Rather than worrying about impressing the other person, you can be more assertive about what satisfies them in bed. And in doing so…

3. You’ll learn more about your sexuality

Through encountering new techniques and tastes, through subduing the urge to self-censor, you’ll start to recognize what brings you the greatest amount of pleasure as well as what completely turns you off. In a perfect world, this type of exploration can take place with someone you’re in love with. But many men and women have had the sad experience of falling in love with someone who refuses to indulge in playful sex or whose preferences are entirely at odds with their partner’s.

The heart and the libido are by no means guaranteed to be compatible. (The New York Times recently reported that 15% of marriages were sexless, meaning the couple had not had sex in six months to a year. Casual sex bypasses this by concerning itself primarily with the libido, which is typically regarded as a source of shame and fear, but can yield its own profound and revelatory moments.

4. You might learn about yourself emotionally

The fear and propaganda around one-night stands isn’t just sexist, it’s illogical. Bad long-term relationships involving miscommunication, unmet expectations, and lies are just as likely to damage participants as any sexual disappointment on a short-term scale. Both men and women are only as vulnerable as they allow themselves to be, and provided they’re with someone who won’t exploit it, vulnerability can be a beautiful thing whether in the confines of a traditional relationship or not.

A series of hook ups might lead you to the conclusion that you’re enjoying single life and not ready for anything longer-term, or may prove to you that you feel the best sexually and emotionally when you’re serious about someone. Either way, it will be a truth about yourself that you’ve tested out, not something you assumed out of fear. As Laura Sessions Stepp says dismissively, “everyone’s had some sort of sexual experience and they all think they’re experts on it.” But no one other than yourself can be the expert on your sexual experience.

5. You might be a better partner in a committed sexual relationship

In Corinna’s results on reasons for engaging in committed sex, almost 90% cited motivation due to “feelings of obligation” and 86% listed “to earn something from my partner.” Surely this can’t be the utopian sexual experience we’re supposed to hold out for?

Should a monogamous commitment appeal to you, your knowledge about yourself and sexuality in general will be an invaluable tool to bring to the table. If you’ve experienced sex as a vehicle for relatively emotionally uncomplicated pleasure, you may even be less likely to go along with sex you don’t want, or to seize upon sex as a tool for manipulation.

You might get more than you bargained for. Contrary to conservative insistence that sex before emotions renders an emotional connection impossible, sexual intimacy so powerfully fosters emotional intimacy that partners sometimes end up dating the person they thought would be a one night stand. In Corinna’s survey, an impressive 82.5% said that one or more of their casual sex relationships became long-term and/or serious.

If you need even more convincing that casual sex won’t ruin you, consider this. Another recent study, one conducted on 1,311 Minnesotans between the ages of 18 and 24, found that there was no correlation between emotional or mental distress and casual sex. The professors were “surprised,” said Marla Eisenberg, lead researcher. “The conventional wisdom is that casual sex […] is harmful. That’s what we’ve been teaching kids for a decade.”

6. You’ll learn more about sex

We’ve all heard the stories about undereducated, traditionalist marriages in which the partners never realized that sex is possible in a position other than missionary, or that a woman can orgasm. With public school programs throughout the country refusing to provide young people with accurate, useful information, Americans are often left to educate themselves through the oldest and arguably best form of learning: experience.

If women’s mags like Cosmo are to be believed, sex is a pretty predictable phenomenon, more like operating a basic machine than learning the unique tastes of an individual. Given our culture’s obsessive promotion of narrow beauty aesthetics and even narrower sexual practices, one might never suspect that people have wildly divergent preferences, arousal triggers, and responses to touch. Variety in partners makes it nearly impossible to maintain the “one size fits all” mentality, while never experiencing more than one partner might actually reinforce it.

Interesting conversation happening over at reddit around casual sex and the rules that ought to apply to it. Responses ranging from hilarious to trite, and everything in-between.

Click through to view the discussion.

Contribute.

Hey guys, Janak here.

I wanted to give Justin a short break and write a post myself. This one’s some advice for men, but there’s stuff here that’s going to be useful and relevant for women as well, so don’t stop reading immediately, ladies.

I’ve been thinking that one thing I hear from a surprising number of guys is that they just don’t feel they’re “cut out” for the casual sex lifestyle. Despite the unlimited hedonistic pleasure on offer, many men feel they’re too “sensitive” to cope with it . They find it hard to avoid getting emotionally involved with women they’re fucking– basically, they don’t know how to protect themselves psychologically from falling into the trap of unwanted emotional intimacy.

The truth is that men are capable of getting just as emotionally worked-up as women are, and unfortunately they’re usually not as good as women are at processing their emotions efficiently and productively. They just haven’t had enough practice; they aren’t taught the emotional coping strategies girls learn at a very young age until adulthood, if ever.

An inability to distance yourself emotionally from the women you’re fucking can lead to a variety of undesirable and destructive consequences, and I’m not just talking marriage and children. If you don’t protect yourself and end up attached to the wrong woman, you expose yourself to a potential world of suffering, including jealousy, unrequited love, codependency, and overt, painful neediness .

So how do you do it? How do you escape the grasping clutch of the sometime-bootycall who wants More?

I recommend beginning with the following 5 daily affirmations:

1. I will not even consider emotionally connecting with any woman who has not demonstrated consistently good behavior.
2. For the idea of a romantic relationship to even be entertained a woman must love me the way I want to be loved. If she can’t or won’t do this, and isn’t happy with a purely physical relationship, then she must be weeded out of my life.
3. I will say “no” to rude behavior. Followed by “goodbye”.
4. For so long as I am not interested in an exclusive relationship, I will try to never be seeing only one girl at a time.
5. I won’t share my feelings or innermost thoughts with any woman whom I don’t intend to be exclusive with.

What do you guys think? Anything we should add or take away? Interested in your thoughts.

-Janak

There is just something intrinsically sexy about hotel rooms, and more specifically about hotel robes. My last post on here described my meeting Rebecca at Axis Radius in Scottsdale. I could tell from the start that she really didn’t belong within that meat market environment, and it turns out she was attending some HR conference in Scottsdale with her company and was dragged there by coworkers after a company dinner. She is 26 and from Atlanta (a city now definitely on my list, she may end up being a double dipper), and is really a nice girl. You might begin to see that as a theme with me — having casual sex with sluts is almost boring and redundant to me — but sluts and hookers do occasionally have their place. However, the real conquest and excitement — for me at least — are random and brief sexual encounters with nice and classy girls who otherwise wouldn’t engage in such activities.

Rebecca definitely falls into this category which made her all the more alluring. I sense partly that she just wanted to get out of the club, but my ego will insist that she also really desired to be with me. So I got her back to my suite at the Phoenician, and after a few drinks I could tell she was mine. She was a bit shocked, but complied when I led her to the amazing jacuzzi tub in the master bath, and we undressed and languished in it for quite a while. After rinsing off in the shower, we put on the plush hotel robes — and that is the image of her that sticks in my mind. Her robe, slightly open showing her milky skin and brief glimpses of the soft tufts of bright red pubic hair. We then went out on the balcony and in the cool Phoenix air she bent over holding the railing as I pulled up her robe and did her from behind while admiring the desert landscape under a full moon. I must say, out of the almost 10 conquests since my “tour” began, she is in a strong first place. Maybe it was the robe, but I think it was much more. I better get ahold of myself lest my misogynistic pussy tour turn into some kind of sensitive love-fest. Nah, that’s not gonna happen.

Justin

Hi Casual Encounters Fans,

Justin here. So I’ve taken care of some personal and money shit (seems once you have money then problems inevitably come along with it) and am ready to depart San Fran and get back on my sex trail. L.A. and Vegas are behind me, and they served as excellent locales to kick off my “tour”. So I’ve been pondering my next stops, and I’m going to meet up with a buddy in Phoenix to play a bit of golf (and chase a bit of pussy). After that I’m not sure. I want to start heading towards Chicago for an Italian beef sandwich (I love those things) and some fine midwest-raised chicks (I love those too). However, I probably should make a stop or two in between, but I must admit that the majority of the US Midwest is a mystery to me. I’ve been to Chicago several times and love it there, but I have little travel experience outside of catching connecting flights in the rest of the Midwest.

I’ve heard Colorado Springs is really cool and was thinking about stopping there. I’ve also been told that any large Midwestern university is prime pickings on game Saturdays. So, i’m gonna research a bit further. First stop is definitely Scottsdale, and I’m going to stay at the Phoenician (yes, money is nice — before it would have been Motel 6). Hopefully my drives will be long and i’ll find some nice AZ girls who will help me add strokes to a game of a different sort. Any nice girls in the Phoenix area over the next few days who desire to have casual sex with me and never hear from me again — please let me know. OK, maybe you can have two nights if you’re truly special. And I promise i’ll give you a fake name if I write about you on here after our encounter.

I’ll update everyone from Scottsdale,

Justin

The Spitting Game is a documentary seeking to expose the underside of today’s college hook-up culture. Amusing to students and shocking to parents — this movie delves into the motivations, rationale and desires which drives the current acceptance among those under 30 of the casual sex lifestyle. The film explores the risks and realities within the college hook up scene, and it contains interesting perspectives from some of America’s brightest — as well as most promiscuous — college students. Some memorable quotes include a college guy’s definition of a fun night out — “penis in vagina”, as well as a co-ed’s epiphany that anal sex is actually sex.

Spitting Game explores the relationship between alcohol and hooking up and illustrates, via interviews, how tightly these two elements are often intertwined. Alcohol provides males with the proverbial “liquid courage” while it simultaneously helps girls dispatch previously restraining inhibitions. Spitting Game was produced by award winning director Denice Ann Evans and it includes segments touching upon health education, gender issues, peer pressure and substance abuse. Two versions of this film now exist — one for students and another shorter 35 minute version released for educational purposes. Parents of college students who have the stomach to see what is really going on these days on campus are well served to watch this insightful documentary.

Start the celebrations. As it turns out, sleeping around is not bad for you mentally. A University of Minnesota study by Dr. Marla Eisenberg looked at the mental wellness of 1300 sexually active adults. Compared to those in monogamous relationships, adults participating in casual sex showed no difference in their psychological health. Keep in mind that this study was done in regards to psychological health only, so common sense still applies when it comes to STDs. Yes, that means you out there, slugger.

Of the 1300 surveyed in the study, 80% were having sex in the context of a relationship, while the other 20% were getting it on casually. This implies that there might not be as much casual sex going on as it sometimes seems there is. However, other studies have shown only 20% saying they had not had casual sex in college. It seems contradictory, but the story told seems to be that everyone hooks up at some point or another but more frequent in the average sex life is relationship sex.

What do you think? Do these percentages seem high or low to you? And do you agree that casual sex does not cause psychological harm, based on your experience? I would be willing to bet there are a bunch of people who say otherwise. Let us know down below.

A new book titled “Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality” seeks to prove the thesis that human biology and evolution was designed to facilitate multiple sexual partners. The author of this book, Christopher Ryan, traces the origins of this work back to his doctoral thesis on the subject. He selected this arena of study during the height of the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, and he sought to identify the origins of the urge to sleep around which drives many to take otherwise unthinkable risks. Since the time of Lewinsky, myriad men including Tiger Woods, John Edwards and Elliot Spitzer have borne out this theory, and Ryan asserts that society’s expectation that you should be with one partner for 50 years goes against human nature.

This book documents that adultery has been rampant in every human culture ever studied, and that a man’s inner urge to spread his seed far and wide is as compelling as the urge to eat or breath. The author further claims that evolution has also prompted women to desire to spread their risk and seek genes from multiple men so as to ensure at least one healthy child. The author strives to bifurcate love versus sex — he claims that love is different from lust and that family unit relationships based upon love are preferred. However, he also asserts that occasional random sex outside of the relationship does not indicate any less love for your partner — an argument many guys would be hard pressed to make to their wives. However, if you wanna make a go at that, you can use this book as a reference when trying to convince her it is ok for you to chase an occasional waitress or barrista.

In a story sure to send shivers down the spines of cheaters across the country, a Batavia, NY woman is facing a criminal charge for committing adultery. It is widely assumed that adultery is no longer a crime in America — but that assumption is wrong. Many states have old adultery laws on the books, but obviously they are rarely — if ever — enforced. The unlucky defendant in this case is 41 year old Suzanne M. Corona (pictured above), and she is the first person prosecuted for adultery in New York in decades. The charge originated from a rather uncouth casual sex encounter Suzanne decided to have with a 25 year old boytoy in a local park — in full view of several neighborhood parents and children. The cops were so aghast at this brazen act that they decided to pile on the charges on this hapless cougar — and they dusted off the State’s archaic adultery law.

Ms. Corona is now challenging the constitutionality of this law although she has yet to retain an attorney. The judge in the case has given her a few weeks in order to find an attorney, and she has been released on bail during the interim. Suzanne’s husband of over six years, Joseph Corona, fully supports his wife and demands that the charges be dropped. They both admitted that her behavior that day in the park was “inappropriate”, but she swears it was not done in view of any of the local kids. It is doubtful this adultery charge will become commonplace seeing the current economic crisis would preclude putting half of the nation’s population in jail.

Australian sex symbol Samantha Brett recently travelled to Hollywood in order to examine the current casual sex craze in America. She gains perspective from several males and females along with experts included the renowned expert on the subject — Dr. Drew. Samantha traces back today’s casual sex epidemic to the advent of the birth control pill, and her thesis is that women are now as prone to have casual sex as men have always been. As for the men, Dr. Drew advises to slow things down just a tad — a little conversation before fucking never hurt anyone.

In terms of advice for the plethora of women today engaging in regular random sex, Dr. Drew advises that women remember that they hold the “keys to the castle”, and he urges females to embark upon a “no casual sex diet”. No doubt, men are sincerely hoping that this diet does not become a fad. A woman’s ability to bifurcate sex and feelings — like a guy can — is discussed in depth. It is suggested that women can only effectively engage in meaningless sex when they have no real compatibility with the guy — if there is compatibility, then women, unlike men, are unable to keep it at the casual level. This video provides a wide range of perspectives on the issue and parts will certainly ring true with those immersed in today’s hook-up culture.

With the amount of casual sex that goes on these days, you would be wise to conclude that both men and women feel pretty good about it. Surprisingly, you would be wrong, according to a study published in the journal human nature. Researchers from Durham University in the United Kingdom surveyed thousands of people who had casual sex encounters and got answers about their feelings on the incidents. There were some interesting results.

The researchers theorized that if there are evolutionary benefits to casual sex, such as to spread the proverbial seed for guys, then positive feelings about the practice would develop to reinforce its practice in society and pass down the genes. For women, it is less clear what the evolutionary reason, but it could be to draw from a larger number of quality partners to increase the chance of one of them producing offspring with quality genes. These types of concepts were looked at going in.

The results showed that men felt positive about causal sex 80% of the time, while women felt positive about it only 54% of the time. Men felt more sexually satisfied and confident about the experience and were less concerned if others found out about it. Women reported feeling used and unappreciated, and were concerned that others finding out could damage their reputation. Also, women were not as sexually satisfied and perhaps surprisingly, did not feel any expectation that casual sex would lead to a longer term relationship.

Women clearly had much more negative feelings about casual sex than guys according to the study. The bottom line, however, is that quite a bit of casual sex continues to go on and shows no signs of stopping. The question, then, is what drives women to participate if their feelings about the experience are lukewarm?

Casual sex is supposed to be fun, carefree and a pleasurable diversion from life’s stresses. However, many who have not mastered the “friends with benefits” relationship status often end up creating the same emotional angst for themselves which they sought to avoid by shunning traditional monogamous relationships. In this amusing — but informative — video by Pop Waffle, an interesting parallel is drawn between FWB relationships and doing work as a temp. Myriad nuggets of wisdom can be gleaned from the video by fans of casual sex from all walks of life.

Pop Waffle starts off by illustrating the importance of those seeking temp work verifying that the position they are applying for is one of a temporary nature. Similarly, those desiring an FWB relationship should clearly ascertain that any potential partner is likewise seeking a temporary arrangement as opposed to something more permanent in nature. Furthermore, don’t assume that anyone hiring you as a “temp” is open to transitioning to a permanent relationship in the future. Another helpful tip for both arenas is never to take a temp job at a place where you’ve held full time employment within the past 90 days.

Also, it is probably wise to keep looking for a full time position — without flaunting it in front of your temp employer. In both temp environments you should have no illusions that you will be treated any differently on your birthday opposed to any other day, and don’t expect a temp boss or FBW partner to bring you chicken soup when you’re sick.