A new book titled “Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality” seeks to prove the thesis that human biology and evolution was designed to facilitate multiple sexual partners. The author of this book, Christopher Ryan, traces the origins of this work back to his doctoral thesis on the subject. He selected this arena of study during the height of the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, and he sought to identify the origins of the urge to sleep around which drives many to take otherwise unthinkable risks. Since the time of Lewinsky, myriad men including Tiger Woods, John Edwards and Elliot Spitzer have borne out this theory, and Ryan asserts that society’s expectation that you should be with one partner for 50 years goes against human nature.
This book documents that adultery has been rampant in every human culture ever studied, and that a man’s inner urge to spread his seed far and wide is as compelling as the urge to eat or breath. The author further claims that evolution has also prompted women to desire to spread their risk and seek genes from multiple men so as to ensure at least one healthy child. The author strives to bifurcate love versus sex — he claims that love is different from lust and that family unit relationships based upon love are preferred. However, he also asserts that occasional random sex outside of the relationship does not indicate any less love for your partner — an argument many guys would be hard pressed to make to their wives. However, if you wanna make a go at that, you can use this book as a reference when trying to convince her it is ok for you to chase an occasional waitress or barrista.
From the Department of No Shit at the University of Iowa comes a new study with an unnecessarily verbose title of “The Contexts of Sexual Involvement and Concurrent Sexual Partnerships”. This groundbreaking report has now quantified that those who have a proclivity for random hook-ups are more likely to have multiple sex partners as opposed to those in monogamous relationships. Without these brilliant academics to guide us, who’d have thought that random hook-ups with the babysitter, bartender or barrista presents for increased risk of “concurrency for both members of sexual dyads”. Translated from Douchebag to English, this means that if you sleep around a lot then you might become a slut!
The daunting academic research behind this shocking thesis was led by Dr. Anthony Paik working with a team of fearless researchers willing to immerse themselves within the sordid world of the Gen-X hook-up crowd. This highly relevant report (utilizing 1995 data on 783 Chicago-area straight adults) now proves that, as of 15 years ago, those who like to fuck around — sorry, “engage in sexual dyads” — are prone to be non-monogamous. Seeing Dr. Paik’s other main subject of study is the interrelationships within the right-wing lawyer community (I’m not making this up), it appears he is focused on those among us prone to screw everybody around them. Those who desire to soak up the entirety of this intellectual endeavor can read the complete study in March’s issue of Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health.
