The FIFA World Cup is upon us in June, and everyone knows what that means — hookers! Cape Town, South Africa, this year’s host of the World Cup, is projected to attract even more sex workers than Craigslist and Adult Friend Finder combined. According to the Drug Central Authority (South Africa’s equivalent to the Vice Squad), over 40,000 prostitutes are set to descend upon Cape Town for the festivities. Football fans making the trek to South Africa are guaranteed to score with a wide variety nice ladies arriving from far-flung locales including Russia, the Congo and Brazil.

In addition to 40,000 tarts, CBS News reports that a billion condoms are also being imported to Cape Town. Basic math therefore indicates that each hooker is projected to get fucked 25,000 times — which hardly seems feasible, but one imagines you can’t be too safe when it comes to these things. In fact, one out of every five adult South African women is said to be infected by HIV. However, intrepid football-sex tourists will not be dissuaded by these odds seeing this one in five chance equates to the same odds as the UK winning the World Cup — and everyone knows this is not going to happen. To further protect themselves, tourists can employ Cape Town taxi driver Henry Africa. For a bargain price of $500, he will shuttle you around to a variety of hooker-laden locales and vouch for your candidate’s safe sex practices. If you do contract HIV, he’ll even waive his tip.

Quick Summary:

Hookup potential: 3/5 Features: 3/5 Design: 5/5 Content: 5/5

• Beautiful clean, clear design.
• Excellent matching, search, filtering, messaging, video, and communication tools; no obtrusive advertising.
• Database isn’t heavily populated yet, so membership participation in some areas is at a low level.
• Doesn’t have as much functionality as some competing sites, but does what it does brilliantly well.

The Full Story:

Get It On is Adult Friend Finder’s foray into “scientific” adult dating. It is also a response to criticism of their flagship “Adult Friend Finder” site as being cluttered, gaudy, ugly, suffering from featuritis, et cetera (criticisms I discussed in my earlier review of it, here.) It is my opinion that Get It On has largely succeeded in what it set out to accomplish.

To sign up to the site (free!), you have to fill in a reasonably long questionnaire. The idea here is to give the site’s software a good idea of what your sexual preferences are and what sort of sexual experience outcome you’re trying to achieve. This information is then used to build your profile and sort through available people in your area; the site will present matching profiles to you when you log in, with a “percentage sexual compatibility” rating next to them.

Once you’ve got your list of prospective compatibles, you can simply click through to any one of the profiles and start communicating with the person using the site’s tools; email her, flirt with her, hotlist her, whatever. Get It On will also lets you record and upload personal introduction videos, and view the saved and broadcasting videos of other members, videos that–no surprise–mostly involve the indicated individuals busying themselves in acts of self-pleasure (some things never change.)

The layout and design also really deserves a mention. Visually, the site is the acme of minimalist/Zen beauty. Clean, clear, no fuss, no mess, and best of all everything just works. Entirely gone is the “Christmas tree” design of yore, replaced by a delightful and contemporary Web 2.0 composition. One thing that particularly struck me was the complete absence of upsell advertising—the site doesn’t seem to be trying to sell anything except for memberships to itself! This may be because the site is relatively new and AFF don’t want to frighten away new members, but I hope it’s more of a long-term strategic decision than that.

I should also point out some possibly-negative features. One is that because the site is fairly new, the size of the membership database can’t compete with those of AFF’s older, established sites. This doesn’t seem to meaningfully affect the search results or matches, but definitely has an impact on things like the number of member videos broadcasting at any one time. I guess there might be something to be said for joining early and scooping up all the hotties, though, hah.

There’s also an obvious lack of a member’s forum, real-time chat, and cam-to-cam functionality. While this might turn some people off, I don’t think it should. Get It On is quite deliberately “stripped down”, with the idea of turning it into a lean, mean, hookup-finding machine. It’s not about sitting around and e-socializing all day with probably-distant Internet strangers (there’s a million other sites you can do that on, and most of them are free), it’s about finding someone with compatible perversions sexual preferences who lives within an hour or two’s drive of you and then hooking up with them to make the beast with two backs.

If that sounds like what you’re after, I’d definitely recommend giving Get It On a shot. Given the marketing muscle that AFF have, the site’s only going to become more popular, and quickly.

Get in on the Get It On ground floor now.