Breasts. This blog supports them (pun only half intended) and we think you all need to be better informed with regard to them. In light of this fact, enjoy and rejoice.

1. 9 Sex Myths you Shouldn’t Believe.
2. Men who help clean get more sex.
3. Hustler publisher sues nephews for making “inferior porn”.
4. Behold: the condom pillow.
5. Creepy kids’ books that really exist.
6. Strippers. (Oh go on, it’s really funny. We promise.)
7. Touch my balls. Touch them.
8. Sexual bases throughout the decades.
9. Give this man a Nobel Prize.
10. The Porn Rangers. Watch out.

Someone with way too much time on his or her hands has come up with this splendid visual guide to things to say during sex. My favorite might be “I rule!”, though I’m not planning to try it on anytime soon.

Click through for the full-sized image.

Oral sex. We all want it. Many of us would like more of it than we’re getting. But bringing up the subject can be tricksy and awkward for some. But fear no longer! From the demented minds at Cracked comes this handy dandy unisexual tip chart. Read on and start getting the genital nomming you want and deserve…

Spice up your lonely masturbatory adventures with these amusing and potentially helpful suggestions from some guy, somewhere.

Click through on the image for the full-size version.

Casual Encounters Blog absolves itself of any responsibility for injuries incurred in the attempted imitation of any of these positions (especially the “Sylvia Plath”.)

Stay safe!

Q: Does penis size necessarily correlate to a man’s worth as a lover?

A: First of all, studies have revealed that women are equally aroused by pictures of large penises as by images of small penises (right…they don’t like pictures of penises, be they large or small). Regardless of popular stereotyping, penis size is not related to body shape, height, length of fingers, or anything else. Interestingly, it has been proven that “small, flaccid penises tend to increase more in size during erections than do penises that are larger in the flaccid state” (best comeback to ‘you have a small dick’ ever…”Naw son, that’s just when it’s…flaccid”). And even still, it should be emphasized that bigger is not always better. In fact, deep penetration can cause pain similar to that experienced when a male gets kicked in the balls, if the penis bangs into the cervix and causes the uterus to be slightly displaced which may jolt an ovary. The vaginal canal’s greatest sensitivity is concentrated in the outer portion, as opposed to deep within. So…no. If you happen to have a huge penis, just don’t go too hard.

Q: How common are intersexed babies (hermaphrodites)?

A: Intersexed babies in the United States are born with about the same frequency as red heads. It is estimated that intersexed may account for 4% of all births, or 40 out of every 1000 people, worldwide. Interestingly, inter-sexed and transsexual babies who are switched over to the female gender often grow up to have careers as models or actresses due to the fact that their tall height, an aspect of masculinity, is considered to be an symbol of beauty. Such examples include the stunning Italian actress Eva Robinson, angelic Japanese pop sensation Harisu, and purportedly Jamie Lee Curtis who qualifies as American Hollywood royalty.

Q: What is the purpose of female genital cutting that occurs in countries like Africa, the Middle East, and Asia?

A: There are multiple reasons why genital cutting is performed. One is to ensure virginity before marriage. In some countries, such as Sudan, the social stigma for remaining uncircumcised is harsh, as indicated by the fact that being called “the son of an uncircumcised mother” is a most intense insult. A second incentive for procedures such as clitorectomy, removal of the clitoris, is to reassure men that they are not having sex with another man in societies where the clitoris is seen as a small penis.

Q: Are there any societies where homosexuality is predominant?

A: Ah, this brings us to my favorite cultural sexual oddity, which occurs in Sambia, New Guinea. In the Sambia tribe, as early as age 7, young boys are expected to “suck the penis of a mature boy every night and swallow the sperm”. Boys who refuse are forever treated as children within the context of their community, because “without regular ingestion of male seed, the Sambia believe, boys will never grow up into strong, mature men.” At the age of 15, the boys are considered mature enough to provide their own genitals for the younger boys to felicitate. Performing fellatio on a younger boy is strictly forbidden; as it is considered stealing his manhood because it results in a loss of semen from the growing boy. As soon as the boys marry, they cease to engage in homosexual contact, but often times, since they are so estranged from female sexuality and coitus, they ask their new brides to wear a bag over her head and fellate them on their wedding night. Interestingly, according to Loving Boys Vol. 1, “After 10 to 15 years of exclusive homosexual activity carried on by 100 % of the Sambia population, the incidence of adult homosexual orientation is only 5 % – exactly the same as in Western society.” So…short answer, yes, long answer, no.

Q: In the 1800’s, what did women do with left-over cleaning agent Lysol after scrubbing the kitchen floor clean? (nice leading question)

A: They used it as a douche. It was unnecessary, harmful and served no medicinal purpose.

Q: Where do vibrators come from?

A: The vibrator was devised as a medical instrument to take some of the load off of doctors who owned some very tired fingers. Authorities in the medical community theorized that hysteria, “a term that was first coined by Hippocrates and described a medical condition peculiar to women… considered to be a symptom of irregular blood-movement from the uterus to the brain,” could be cured through orgasm. In the mid 1600’s doctors recorded their treatment method of conducting such therapy by hand. Clitoral stimulation often was required for up to an hour before the resulting fit of convulsions, and thus, doctors developed a tool to ease the amount of labor (tisk tisk, lazy lazy). In the 1800s rocking chairs and swings were manipulated to act as promethean devices to help a woman relieve herself of hysteria, but by 1905, the vibrator had evolved into a portable motorized gadget that could get the job done in ten minutes or less and was advertised in “housekeeping, sewing, and ladies’ journals with innocuous pictures of an old woman mechanically massaging her temples with a statement akin to: all the pleasures of youth will throb within you”.

Q: Are there sexual anxiety disorders that do not exist in America, but do in another society?

A: Absolutely. Genital retraction syndrome (GRS), widely referred to as koro (translated as “shrinking penis”), is a thousands of years old culture-specific epidemic which is known to spread mass hysteria at lightening speed, or at least the speed of ejaculation, and is equivalent to Western culture’s phenomenon of anxiety attacks. Koro consists of delusions in which men, especially in Asia and Africa, believes he is “the victim of a contagious disease that causes his penis to shrink and retract into his body, an alarming prospect made worse by local traditions or folklore that adds the warning that this condition is usually fatal”. In 1982, the rumor of koro spread in India and resulted in freaked out parents flooding the hospitals pressed to get their sons (who arrived with “penises bound up to prevent further shrinkage) help. In Singapore during 1967, contaminated pork was announced as a cause of penis shrinkage, prompting men to hang “weights from their penises [or even have] relatives or friends [grab] on …to keep their penises from slipping away.” The concept of koro similarly has infiltrated the consciousness of men all up and down the west coast of Africa producing “recent outbreaks of ‘penis thievery…involving public accusations of penis theft, usually as a result of the unexpected or unwelcome touch from a stranger.”

In January 2002, twelve of the accused “sorcerers” who convinced men that they had used black magic to put a curse on the penis to shrink and were demanding monetary payment in exchange for the antidote, were brutally beaten to death by hordes of men who believed their penises were losing inches as a result. Medical authorities are working on educating the public, enlightening citizens that koro has no basis in reality with a presentation of quantitative measurements of their penis over a period of time.

Q: Is there a way for men to exercise their genitals in effort to achieve more pleasurable sex?

A: Kegel exercises, famous for helping to strengthen the pelvic walls for women in preparation to give labor, also result in positive changes for men, including “stronger and more pleasurable orgasms, better ejaculatory control, and increased pelvic sensation during sexual arousal.” The male version of these exercises work to strengthen the muscles surrounding the internal extension of the penis, which are usually only contracted during ejaculation, with the following steps suggested by Crooks and Baur’s Our Sexuality: (time for your homework lesson…)

1. Locate the muscles by stopping the flow of urine several times while urinating. The muscles you sqeeze to accomplish this are the ones on which you will concentrate. If you do a correct Kegel while not urinating, you will notice your penis move slightly. Kegel’s done when you have an erection will cause your penis to move up and down.
2. Begin the exercise program by squeezing and relaxing the muscles 15 times, twice daily. Do not hold the contraction at this stage. (These are called ‘short Kegels’).
3. Gradually increase the number of Kegels until you can comfortably do 60 at a time twice daily.
4. Now practice ‘long Kegels’ by holding each contraction for a count of 3.
5. Combine the short and long Kegels in each daily exercise routine, doing a set of 60 of each, once or twice a day.
6. Continue with the Kegel exercises for at least several weeks. You may not notice results until a month or more has passed. By this time the exercises will probably have become automatic, requiring no particular effort.

Q: Is it true that the larger a woman’s breasts, the better able she will be to provide nourishment for a baby?

A: In a physically mature woman the breasts are composed internally of fatty tissue and mammary, or milk, glands. There is little variation from woman to woman in the amount of glandular tissue present in the breast, despite differences in size. This is why the amount of milk produced after childbirth does not correlate with the size of the breasts. Variation in breast size is due primarily to the amount of fatty tissue distributed around the glands. Therefore, with bigger boobs, you are receiving higher fat content.

Q: Do perfumes really work as a turn on?

A: It is theorized that perfumes are used so that others will be more likely to breathe in more of the fragrance-wearers pheromones, or odors produced by the body that relate to reproductive functions. While this, and the fact that aphrodisiacs may be learned through association of a trigger (stench) with an experience (hot girl kissing you), may be true, it is interesting to note that “contrary to what the marketers of commercial scents would like us to believe, Alan Hirsh, a researcher at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, recently found that the odors reported to be most sexually arousing for either sex were not colognes or perfumes.” To determine arousal, Hirsch measured the blood flow to privates in response to certain smells and found that the strongest reactions by men correlated to scents of “lavender, pumpkin pie, and doughnuts”, whereas women were most stimulated by “licorice, cucumbers, and banana nut bread”. Smells that proved a turn off to women included “barbeque meat, cherries, and men’s cologne.”

I’ve recently collected another daunting pile of questions regarding the health benefits of sex. Through the years of my career, and I imagine through the ages of all humanity, this has been a resurfacing question. Typically I answer questions pertaining to the health benefits of sex on a one-on-one basis, but since I know that there are many more men out there who are asking themselves the same question I thought it admissible to address the topic here.

Many people simply enjoy a healthy sex life because sex is pleasurable. Now there’s another reason to stay under the sheets; there are substantial health benefits of sex.

Enjoying a rigorous romp can do wonders for everyone both physically and psychologically. Now, men everywhere can tell their ladies that sex is not only for fun, but, since there are health benefits of sex, their lives may depend on it.

The following are six different reasons why sex and sexual activity may help you live a longer, happier life due to the health benefits of sex:

Sex Can Cure Headaches

All those times that you were told, “Not tonight honey, I have a headache,” all you had to do was inform your woman that one of the health benefits of sex is its ability to act as a pain reliever. The hormone oxytocin (a nine amino acid peptide that is synthesized in hypothalamic neurons and transported down axons of the posterior pituitary for secretion into blood) secretes within your body whenever you engage in sexual activity.

Because of this secretion, endorphins (hormone-like chemicals that bear a close functional resemblance to morphine) are released.

When a person is aroused or excited, oxytocin levels not only begin to increase, they are the reason that orgasms come about. Studies have shown that a rise in oxytocin levels can relieve pain; everything from headaches, cramps and overall body aches can be diminished with a simple roll in the hay.

Sex Reduces Stress

A recent survey revealed that people who have more sex reported that they felt more at ease, happier and learned how to handle stress better. So perhaps the term “sexual frustration” is not too far from the truth.

After an orgasm, an intense wave of calm and relaxation overcomes humans (that’s why men usually fall asleep) and it’s a time when people can truly liberate themselves and let go. Plenty of people who enjoy a regular dose of sex convey that they sleep much better during the night and feel alive and refreshed throughout the day. So, one of the health benefits of sex is a better nights sleep, which allows you to handle day-to-day stress much more efficiently.

Sex Increases Blood Flow

It goes without saying that when we get aroused our blood starts to pump at a quicker rate and, thus, blood flow to our brain increases. Both an increased heart rate and more blood pumping through the brain result in better performance (in and out of the bedroom).

What this ultimately means is that the fresh supply of blood pumping through your body provides the organs with a healthy dose of oxygen and rids the body of old and wasteful products. So, another health benefit of sex is a cleansed system. Treat your temple right with the help of a little excitement.

The health benefits of sex will give you more hormones and keep you younger.

Sex Maintains your Body

One of the health benefits of sex is that it helps to keep you fit and it can keep you in constant awareness of your body image. Everyone likes to know that they have a nice physique and continually being naked in front of another person can be somewhat of a good incentive to stay in shape.

Believe it or not, sexual intercourse burns off 150 calories every half hour. Although the average couple engages in sex for approximately 25 minutes a session only three times a week, it still accounts for 450 calories that are better taken off than put on.

If you’re more active than average, then that will only make things more beneficial for you and that lucky gal. A health benefit of sex, particularly a rigorous hour of sex, is that it may burn even more than 300 calories depending on how rigorous you get.

Orgasms Increase your Lifespan

Although the orgasm is sometimes referred to as the “little death,” having at least two orgasms a week can increase your life span. Every time you reach orgasm, the hormone DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) increases in response to sexual excitement and ejaculation.

DHEA can boost your immune system, repair tissue, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and even work as an antidepressant. Therefore, a health benefit of sex if you keep the orgasms coming, is potentially a longer life.

Sex Boosts your Hormone Levels

Both testosterone and estrogen levels experience a boost through regular sexual activity. Testosterone does more than just boost your sex drive, it helps fortify bones and muscles, and it keeps your heart in good working condition as well.

In women, sex increases the levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease. Ever wonder why women love the touchy, feely stuff so much? It’s because of their rise in estrogen levels. This hormone also plays a huge role in a woman’s body scent. While estrogen makes women sentimental, a rise in their testosterone levels is what makes them desire penetration.

Men also produce estrogen and as they age, their estrogen levels increase while their testosterone levels drop. This reversal often results in men becoming somewhat calmer as they get on in years.

Sex Will Make you Healthy and Happy

It’s quite evident that there are many health benefits of sex. It increases brain power, heart rate, it can help fend off diseases and ailments, and it makes individuals feel good about themselves.

In today’s stressful society, it has become a little more difficult to engage in intimate sexuality as often, but as long as you incessantly make the effort, you’ll realize that it’s always worth it.

The health benefits of sex will make you feel wonderful within and without and you will gradually notice that the more sex you have, the more bounce you will have in each step. Happiness isn’t sex itself, but sex does ultimately play a role in human happiness.

Article by Donald Zimmer

1. Make your own sex toys.
2. More housework == more sex.
3. Veeery disturbing Japanese clay animation short film.
4. Woman accuses gay boss of rape.
5. How to tell if your son is gay.
6. Uhm. Pardon?
7. Ignatius: the Ultimate Youth Pastor.
8. AIEEEEE.
9. Whale penis leather car interior. You read right.
10. When You Marry, a 1962 textbook for highschoolers.

1. Asexual and proud.
2. Vagina mints, seriously.
3. Dirty laundry… on facebook.
4. Halloween costume of win.
5. The Onion calls that shit.
6. Al Franken trolls John Ashcroft.
7. This is what the Internet does to young men.
8. Keep it classy, Australia.
9. “Why I slept with 1300 women.”
10. Meghan McCain: Not A Slut.

This fascinating, in-depth interview with leading sex expert David Shade of Masterful-Lover.com kicks off a new series of interviews on Casual Encounters Blog.

Take it away, Mr Shade!

I see from your biographical information that you were divorced circa 1992. Do you think that had you known everything you know now that you would have salvaged that relationship? Perhaps never embarked on it in the first place? What are your feelings about it now?

First of all, thank you Janak for this opportunity. I am honored.

Looking back, I would not have wanted to salvage it, in fact I would never have embarked on it in the first place. My feelings now are that I am glad to be where I am. Believe me, I am enjoying myself a lot more now. And because of what I’ve been through over the past 17 years, starting with crushing defeat and evolving into victory beyond my wildest dreams, I am equipped to help other men to avoid the problems and go straight to success.

As research for this interview I read the “lost chapter” of Neil Strauss’s “The Game”. I found it a fascinating read: it’s quite the picture he paints of you. What’s your relationship with him like these days? And are you still only interested in bisexual women!

It was a fascinating night when we met. He is a Jedi Master at rapport. Nobody compares. By the way, contrary to what he wrote, I have never worn a pocket protector. Ha ha.

He and I have met a couple of times since then. We still occasionally communicate indirectly on business matters and he has interviewed me for his interview series.

As for bisexual women, all women are bisexual, some are just quicker to act on it than others. But since I’ve been there and done that, it is not among my top priority selection criteria.

What are your top priority selection criteria?

High self-esteem, intelligence, and an interest in continual learning. The continual learning is important because I am a hungry sponge for new knowledge and insight, and could only be happy with someone who is also. And it really plays into her ability and willingness to be with a man who is a hard working entrepreneur. Intelligence is important because the smarter they are the better my stuff works. High self-esteem is critical because she has to have the sense of deservedness enough to genuinely believe that she deserves happiness and incredible pleasure. Interestingly, it’s the easiest criteria to test for.

How do you do that?

Here’s a quick and easy tip. Shake her hand and notice how she shakes. If she gives you a limp handshake, she is low self-esteem. This is very dependable. If she gives you a good firm handshake, there is a possibility that she is high self-esteem. To know better, there is one truism about high self-esteem women; they were raised with a close loving relationship with their father, so say to her, “That is a good firm handshake. Did your father teach you that?” If she speaks highly about her father, there is a very good chance she is high self-esteem.

As for online dating, look at the way she composes her online profile and emails. If she uses a lower case i to refer to herself, she is low self-esteem. This is also very dependable.

You teach men to be Masterful Lovers. In that end, you teach them how to use hypnosis and NLP. Do you feel that hypnosis and NLP have ethical roles to play in giving women orgasms? If so, do you believe there are boundaries to their applicability, and if so, what do you believe those boundaries are/should be? If you don’t believe there ought to be boundaries, why not?

As for ethics and boundaries, it all goes back to intent and consent. Your intent is to enhance your woman’s enjoyment of being a woman, and everything is done in the context of consent. It’s very simple; if you don’t want to hurt someone, don’t do anything hurtful.

The first thing men learn when they learn NLP is to recognize all the mistakes they were not aware of that they have been making, such as creating bad associations. Then they learn how to create the right associations to enhance their woman’s experience with them. It’s the kind of stuff that women wish men would do.

Hypnosis is actually the advanced course. It is certainly not necessary to give women wild screaming orgasms, but it is needed for the really far out stuff. Interestingly, women are my biggest supporters. Whenever I put out an email where one of my clients reports success using hypnosis in giving his woman an hour long instant orgasm on command, I get a bunch of women emailing me asking where they can find such a man.

What is necessary to give women wild screaming orgasms?

To understand that for women, sex is entirely mental. Appeal to the mental aspects of female sexuality and everything else follows. It has nothing to do with experience, it has everything to do with having the correct knowledge and beliefs.

Does size matter?

It matters if you think it matters. Interestingly, the bigger the guy is, the more he thinks he needs to be bigger. But the truth of the matter is that size has no correlation to women having vaginal orgasms in intercourse. This is verified by emails I regularly get from women. Some women ask me why their well endowed man is not giving her vaginal orgasms in intercourse but her average sized ex was always giving them to her. Some women used to have a well endowed ex who never gave her vaginal orgasms but now her modestly endowed man is regularly giving them to her. And lots of married women ask me what they can do because their big husband never gives her orgasms.

It is the men who buy male enhancement products who are not giving women orgasms. They have all the wrong mindset.

It is interesting to note that the only women who say that size matters are the women who have never had a vaginal orgasm.

There has never been a case where a woman has vaginal orgasms only with a large man but never has vaginal orgasms with a modestly sized man. Never. And it all makes sense when you understand that sexuality for women is entirely mental and that with just your middle finger you can give a woman her very first vaginal orgasm.

How do you do that?

I fell upon this in 1993. I was with a young woman who had never had an orgasm. I tried all the usual stuff like her clitoris, her G-spot, intercourse, but nothing was working. So I simply looked for something that would work for her. With my middle finger I pressed against the front of her vagina as deep in her vagina as I could reach. She immediately responded powerfully, so I continued this, and she had her very first orgasm, a vaginal orgasm at that. Then she was able to have an orgasm in any manner.

I called it the deep spot. Thousands of my clients have had great success with it, and some of them reported that they had also fallen upon it themselves before they read my stuff. In 1998 it was independently discovered by the sex therapy community and referred to as the anterior fornix of the vagina.

Some people believe that some women cannot have vaginal orgasms.

The majority of women have never had a vaginal orgasm. Many of them believe that they are not “one of the lucky ones” who can have vaginal orgasms, as if they were dealt a bad hand. Some sexologists believe that some women are not born with as much “clitoral erectile tissue” within the front wall of the vagina and that women should not set expectations for themselves which would lead to disappointment. Actually, that sets women up for a self-limiting belief.

The reality of the matter is that there is no such thing as some women being preordained to have vaginal orgasms and some women being preordained to not have vaginal orgasms. All women are born with a vagina and a brain. Every woman is perfectly equipped to have vaginal orgasms.

The reasons why some women are not having vaginal orgasms have nothing to do with being dealt any particular hand. They are other reasons, such as chemical, emotional, or mental. Among the chemical issues are prescription drugs, the most popular being anti-depressants. Among the emotional issues include sexual abuse trauma, low self-esteem causing insufficient sense of deservedness for pleasure, abandonment issues, trust issues, inability to lose control to the pleasure in her body, etc. As for mental issues, the most popular by far is the self-consciousness caused when they feel they are going to pee, which causes them to back down and thus miss out.

And a lot of it has to do with clitoral dependency due to years of diligent practice. She has always used her clitoris to have an orgasm and never made any attempt on her own to experiment with vaginal stimulation. And in many cases she is simply with a man who is a lousy lover.

With regard to being a good lover, do you believe some people have limitations which simply cannot be overcome? If so, what are they? If not, how would you justify that belief?

Some men don’t have what it takes, and never will. In some cases it’s because they don’t care. In others, they are selfish. Neither of those can be overcome. In some cases they are just plain ignorant. That might be able to be overcome with education, but they have to want it. But the biggest problem is a warped concept of sexuality. That goes back to how they were raised. Only intense professional counseling can help in those cases.

But for most men, they simply want to learn the correct knowledge and beliefs that it takes to be a Masterful Lover. They are the ones who soak up the knowledge and take on the beliefs and have incredible success. I certainly wish I had access to this stuff a long time ago.

What do you think is the most important single piece of advice you could give to someone who is having trouble with being a good lover?

Understand and accept the fact that women are highly sexual creatures, much more so than men. Especially the smart high self-esteem ones. They actually want their man to be comfortable with their sexuality. You will quickly realize this yourself when you start implementing the material. You will have to be prepared for what appears, because women can really surprise you with how wild they can get.

What is keeping you busy right now? Any upcoming or current projects you’d like to let our readers know about?

Running my company keeps me busy full time. My latest project is a program that I worked on for 17 years called “Select Women Wisely”. It was recently released and I am very happy that it has been so well received. Men truly are interested in finding the good ones.

True enough. Thanks again David for being so incredibly generous with your time and energy: I’m sure our readers appreciate it. You can see David Shade’s video about the deep spot at youtube and check out David’s website at Masterful-Lover.com.

Plenty more great interviews coming soon–stay tuned!

1. Vaginas are accomodating.
2. A poem. About fisting.
3. A charming song about sticking it in the wrong hole. Guest-starring Scott Baio.
4. Sex androids. They breathe. And have a pulse. (more and more.)
5. Intersex author’s life as a ‘Mighty Hermaphrodite’.
6. Worst cybersex line ever.
7. Vintage sexism: 1943 guide to hiring women.
8. Chess champion Kasparov attacked by flying penis.
9. Walmart ruins two parents’ lives by calling family photos “child pornography”.
10. Nudist hikers get their own trail in Germany.

While most online dating sites are legitimate, there are plenty of scammers out there looking to take advantage of the members of such sites. Even on reputable paid dating sites, scammers may find it worthwhile to pay for memberships in order to use them to scam other paid members out of money. In this article we’re going to look at the different scams that exist and give you some tips on recognizing them and avoiding them, as well as giving you advice about how to spot fake user profiles, hopefully enabling you to avoid scammers before they even have a chance to interact with you.

One disclaimer before going further: I don’t mean to suggest that profiles or people you contact exhibiting (or even all) of the features and behaviors I am going to describe are necessarily scams—some may very well not be. The sad fact is though, most will be. If it looks too good to be true, guys, it usually is.

Ways to spot a fake user profile

There are a number of features that many fake profiles will have in common. We’ll list some of them here. If a profile you’re looking at ticks any of these boxes, it should be a warning bell—proceed with caution (if at all!)

Suggestive usernames, particularly on female profiles

Even on explicitly “adult” dating sites, genuine female members will very rarely choose sexually-suggestive usernames. Scammers (and hookers) often do use such names, as they know the names will attract attention. Genuine women won’t, because they don’t want the deluge of lewd and sleazy attention that such names provoke.

Glossy, glamorous, “model-looking” photos

Genuine women will occasionally get glamor shots done for their dating profiles, but this should be thought of as the exception rather than the rule. Genuine photos tend to be in natural settings (not studios, or obviously “lit” environments) and tend to be taken by regular consumer cameras, not by professional ones.

Only a single photo

Because scammers are only usually creating multiple fake profiles, a person having only a single photo can be grounds for suspicion, especially if the photo looks like  it might be of a model.

“Unnatural” language and answers on a profile

The language in fake profiles will often seem unnatural and forced. For female profiles, language that is flirty, suggestive and implies an eagerness to quickly embark upon a physical relationship (without preconditions, specifics, or partner criteria) should be seen as highly suspicious. Likewise a man’s profile that mentions wealth.

Poor English in profile (on an English-speaking site)

Unfortunately it is common to see women from poorer countries trying to attract men from wealthier ones in order to gain access to the wealthier country for reasons of economic opportunity. Poorly-written English full of semantic, spelling, and grammatical errors can be the clue that will help you spot these profiles early.

Profiles that claim to be local, but aren’t

If you find a profile that claims that the indicated individual lives near you, yet once you start communicating with you they reveal they live overseas, walk away. Don’t listen to any excuses they may offer: it’s almost certainly a scam.

Incomplete profiles or profiles that try to be too “generically attractive”

Such profiles “widen the net” the scammer is casting  for his prospective victims.

Profiles that are “too good to be true”

You need to ask yourself what the odds are of finding someone on an online dating site who likes exactly all the things you like and, additionally, is super-attractive, super-attracted to you, and super charming.

The profile asks you to visit a webpage

If a profile suggests that you visit a web page, that may be a clue that it’s fake. Many such profiles will link directly to signup forms for adult or adult dating websites, or perhaps to a small fake “personal” site that tries to convince you to join a paid site. Also be wary of profiles where the user tries to get you to go straight to Yahoo messenger or another IM client; usually these profiles are directing you to a bot or to linkspam.

An example of a fake profile

Now just for fun, let’s take a look at a known fake profile, and look at how the tips I’ve given above should help us to figure out that it’s probably fake.

Here’s the profile. It was recently submitted to localsex.com, a free adult dating site, and was quickly reported and deleted by a sharp-eyed member. Take a look at it, and think about why it doesn’t ring true (you can click on it to see the full-sized version.)

How about that username? It’s sort of borderline. “msalisonangel” isn’t quite “readyforsexnow”, but it’s still a little cutesier than genuine women tend to go for. The real giveaways are:

1) The photos. She’s extremely attractive, which is always a red flag. More importantly though, the photos are clearly professionally-taken, and in the second photo (thumbnail at the bottom) “msalisonangel” is striking an obvious “model pose”. I’d be prepared to call “fake” based on the photos alone.

As it turned out, the reason this profile was identified as fake was because a member recognized the photos as being those of a well-known soft-porn star.

2) The language. The title and “About Me” language is designed both to have an extremely broad appeal and to make the woman appear eager for sex. She wants “a soulmate for the eventide years of her life” (and seriously, what 22-year-old even uses the word “eventide”?) and yet also says “Committment-wise, I’m pretty casual”. The language also feels quite forced and unnatural (not to mention “confused”), and the opening “Sexually, I’m an explorer” gambit should ring alarm bells.

Common online dating scams

How much fun was that? Of course, fake profiles are just the tip of the iceberg as far as online dating scams go. The bait to tempt you, if you will. We also want to be more broadly aware of what sort of scams fake profiles might lure us into, so here’s an overview of the more common ones to watch out for:

The damsel in distress scam

A (usually female) site member with an attractive photo claims to be in need/trouble, and requests that you help her out financially. A variation on this scam is the travel scam, where the person claims to need money so they can afford to travel to meet you, with a view to pursuing a long term relationship.

The phishing scam

Email from contacts that press you for detailed personal information such as your financial information, your home address, full name, phone number, or social security number are almost certainly scammers. These people either try to scam the online dating users outright, using the information to masquerade as the victim for pecuniary gain, or are collecting the data to sell to some third party who will exploit the data in the same way.

The laundering scam

The fraudster may not ask you for any money directly. Instead, he may ask you to cash money orders or cheques and to wire (or perhaps Western Union) him the proceeds, or some fraction of the proceeds. The money orders or cheques will later turn out to be fake or stolen and you will be left out of pocket and possibly be held responsible for receiving stolen funds.

Prostitute scam

Prostitutes advertising illegally on dating sites tend to be straightforward. They place profiles to solicit business. Such profiles are usually easily recognized by sleazy user names, suggestive photos, and explicit self-descriptions. They don’t waste time letting you know what they are after.

Phonesex scam

The person will ask you to call them, and after you do you‘ll get a bill in the mail for hundreds of dollars. In the United States such phone numbers will start with 1-900, but pay lines in other countries will have different numerical prefixes. The scammer in this case might try to allay your fears of having to pay for a call by making up some story explaining why you won’t have to. Don’t be fooled.

The “Nigerian” postal scam

The person pretends to be a relative of a deceased government official or some other dignitary who asks for your help in a financial transaction. Sometimes mention of a lottery having been won, but the winner being able to collect the winnings himself for some reason. The author of the email will offer a huge reward if you help him to transfer a large sum of money. It’s called the Nigerian postal scam because the first such scams originated in Nigeria, but the scam “type” has now spread, and may originate from other countries as well.

I hope I’ve given you some good pointers and ideas about what to look out for in profiles so you don’t fall victim to online dating scams. Just to lighten the mood a little, though, check out this “Nigerian Scam Dating” parody site–it’s good for a chuckle or two.

Stay smart and safe out there!

Found this craigslist post a little while ago. Freaking HYSTERICAL. Enjoy.

Dear Men of Craigslist,

Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.

But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We’ve done dinner and drinks. We’ve gone dancing. We’ve cuddled and watched a movie. I’m wearing a low cut shirt and you’ve been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.

When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I’m not going to just lie still – I’ll get involved. But don’t make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist. We’ve been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That’s nice, but it’s time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don’t make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I’m practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won’t go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don’t gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It’s not what WE want.

OK, I know it’s scary. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. So, I have compiled some handy tips. Don’t think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Andrea Dworkins of the world. Just some simple tips, for timid men who have forgotten what it means to fuck like men:

1. Taking charge is not bad. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. If she says yes, say something like “I’m sorry – you just look so fucking delicious. I’ll go slower.” Otherwise, skillfully move forward. If you start kissing a woman, and she responds well, and before long, you’re both on the floor with her skirt pushed up, and you on top of her, it’s not the time to roll onto your back and start awkwardly stroking the top of her head. Seriously, grow a goddamn pair. YOU’RE the man. Act like one.

2. Ohmyfuckinggod, please learn to respect the clit. It’s different for every woman, so ask what she likes. Do not, I repeat, do not just wiggle your fingers around her pussy like you’re trying to tickle her. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt. Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of. Start by using all four fingers with firm yet gentle pressure against the outside of her pussy. Do not charge in with a single finger and start jabbing at things. And if you really don’t know what to do, ask her. Just ask. “How do you like it?”. It’s a simple question, and most women will answer straight out. If she’s being all coy, ask “Do you like pressure? Is it sensitive?” The clitoris is a varied item, indeed. Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner liked.

3. Most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Yes, there are women out there who want to “make love” every time – sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it’s not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you’re mixing a cake batter up there. It’s because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Don’t be too afraid of what this means as far as gender equality goes – I am a raging feminist bitch, but I still want to be penetrated like you are planning on fucking my throat from the inside out.

4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some women like their hair pulled. Do not act shocked if she wants you to spank her (“Really? Spanking? Won’t it hurt?” – yes, it does. That’s the fucking point). We know you’ve read Stuff and Maxim, and that’s all those laddie mags talk about in their “How to Please Her” sections. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that she sits on. Judge her response and continue on from there. You don’t have to bend her over one knee and tell her she’s a naughty girl and that Daddy’s going to punish her; save that for the fifth date. Women are less delicate than you think, so don’t worry about breaking her hip.

5. It’s OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you’re banging a woman, and she’s crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can’t even manage a grunt, she’s going to feel like an idiot. You don’t have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes “Ah!”, half grunt, half yell? That’s HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against her neck when you’re in missionary position. You don’t have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, she’s going to get worried.

6. Most women like dirty talk, in addition to the grunting. If you’d like to get some dirty talk going, ask her if she likes the way you fuck her. If she responds well, continue with something like, “I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot.” Is she still moaning in response? “Your tits are so beautiful.” Does that work? If she doesn’t respond well to the term “tits”, you might have to stop there. If she keep moaning or responding, pass Go and collect $200. Try the following:

“Oh, god. Your pussy is SO tight.”
“You’re so wet – are you wet because you like the feel of my cock ramming you?”
“I think I’m going to come inside you. I’m going to fill up your little cunt.” It doesn’t matter that you’re wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.

If all of those work, you can then progress to things like “sexy little bitch” and “dirty whore”. Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.

7. You’re not obligated to eat a woman out. In return, she’s not obligated to choke on your dick. Don’t skip one and expect the other. If you do eat a woman out, the only comment you should make about her pussy is how nice it is. The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush – you are not John Madden. No time for color commentary.

8. Do not bitch about condoms. Oh, we hate them. Trust us. They hurt us more than they hurt you. But we don’t want to be preggers, and you don’t want to catch anything, right? Don’t whine about condom sex. Do not explain that you can’t come with one on. LEARN to come with one on, or if not, help us figure out what to do with you once we’re satisfied and it’s time for you to let loose your load.

9. We really like it when you come. It’s called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don’t assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there’s no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. “I think I’m going to come – how do you like it?” is a fair question that shouldn’t rob you of your testicles.

In recent memory, I’ve been fucked by a very aggressive, manly guy, and I’ve been… well, fucked is the wrong term here. I’ve been penetrated by a total and utter wuss. Who am I going to run back to when I’m ready for my fill? Manly McHardon, that’s who.

—————————————————-

*New point of clarification – some people have brought up some really great issues in response to this post, so let me say this: I don’t mean to imply that all women like to be treated like whores. I do mean to say that most women I know have told me that they like sex rougher than most men give it to them. Rough does NOT equal chains and bondage. And this applies to the bedroom only, and does not mean that she wants you to choose her dinner for her, or treat her like less of a person.

**Some women have said that they don’t like it rough and what the hell am I thinking? Well, girls, you’re in the minority. HOWEVER, all women need to remember that, in addition to be straight forward about your sexual desires, you need to be straight forward about your sexual limits. Don’t be afraid to ask for more, but when something feels wrong, say so. Don’t ever do something you don’t want to do in silence and then blame the guy. Silence is dangerous.

1. Sex lion dies of sex exhaustion.
2. Uganda to outlaw female circumcision.
3. Vintage sex education tape.
4. What women want from porn.
5. Sanity prevails in Canada.
6. Teacher sends students home with homemade porn DVD.
7. Porn outlawed in the Ukraine.. unless it’s “medicinal”.
8. New website names and shames people with STDs.
9. Guess her muff.
10. The French. ‘Nuff said.