Casual sex is supposed to be fun, carefree and a pleasurable diversion from life’s stresses. However, many who have not mastered the “friends with benefits” relationship status often end up creating the same emotional angst for themselves which they sought to avoid by shunning traditional monogamous relationships. In this amusing — but informative — video by Pop Waffle, an interesting parallel is drawn between FWB relationships and doing work as a temp. Myriad nuggets of wisdom can be gleaned from the video by fans of casual sex from all walks of life.
Pop Waffle starts off by illustrating the importance of those seeking temp work verifying that the position they are applying for is one of a temporary nature. Similarly, those desiring an FWB relationship should clearly ascertain that any potential partner is likewise seeking a temporary arrangement as opposed to something more permanent in nature. Furthermore, don’t assume that anyone hiring you as a “temp” is open to transitioning to a permanent relationship in the future. Another helpful tip for both arenas is never to take a temp job at a place where you’ve held full time employment within the past 90 days.
Also, it is probably wise to keep looking for a full time position — without flaunting it in front of your temp employer. In both temp environments you should have no illusions that you will be treated any differently on your birthday opposed to any other day, and don’t expect a temp boss or FBW partner to bring you chicken soup when you’re sick.
Many claim that the Internet has triggered the decline of journalism, and news is now filled with useless tripe concerning celebrities, scandals and White House party crashers. However, one intrepid journalist is showing that quality and informative news content can still be created — even on the Internet. The above clip provides much needed illumination and detail about the perspectives of recent college girl grads when it comes to taking it up the ass. There is no doubt that this topic is of great importance to many men, and modern norms have now allowed anal play to even enter the realm of casual hook-ups.
The interview above indicates that the newest generation of women are amenable to having anal sex, although it “really hurts” even when high. One claims the pain was so intense that she passed out — possibly indicating a good strategy for guys to deal with girls who never shut up. The subjects of this interview — when asked why they think guys are always asking to put it up their butt — theorized that the answer must relate to the tightness of this particular orifice. She then comes to the epiphany that her ass wasn’t created for cocks to be put up it — an assertion which many men would disagree with. Further insights included the importance of lube and a solution to the intractable political situation in the Middle East.
Good news for fans of casual sex — the University of Minnesota recently released a report which quantified that those who’s last sexual encounter was casual in nature are not more prone to suffer adverse psychological conditions. The study was overseen by Dr. Marla Eisenberg of UM’s medical school, and it looked at a universe of just over 1300 young adults who are sexually active. This group was divided into approximately 575 males and 725 females. This disparity was not explained, but one can assume male researchers preferred to select females in order to query about their sexual dalliances.
Out of the respondents, 55% indicated that their last encounter was with a partner in a serious dating relationship, 25% were last with a spouse or fiance and the remaining 30% last got naked within the context of a casual hook-up. It was no shocker that twice as many males reported that their last fuck was of the random variety as compared to their female counterparts. After reviewing the psychological history of all participants in the study for several years after their sexual habits were quantified, the study was able to definitively show that those prone to engage in casual sex had equal — and in many cases superior — mental health compared to the monogamous subsets. True, STD’s are always a risk — but it now appears that your peace of mind is not put at risk by random sex.
According to media reports, Tokio Hotel guitarist Tom Kaulitz recently suffered from an overdose on Viagra. Usage of this drug by a 20 year old rockstar underscores the fact that Viagra is increasingly popular as a recreational drug — as opposed to solely being utilized by aging former Republican presidential candidates. Many of you reading this who are lucky enough to hook up as much as a rockstar does (well, maybe not quite as much) could very well be among the large universe of guys using Viagra in order to facilitate high volume sexual conquests. This overdose by Tom Kaulitz might give pause to those who fall into this group.
So what constitutes a Viagra overdose, and what are the possible ramifications? After popping several of the magic blue pills in rapid succession, Kaulitz reports having a pounding headache, nausea and eventually blurry and double vision. If you experience such effects, then it is safe to say they didn’t emanate from your partner’s sexual prowess. Reactions to large doses of Viagra vary by the user, but some can experience chest pains — or even heart attacks. Additionally, priapism (the multi-hour boner) can arise from a Viagra overdose — although probably pleasing to your partner, its effects upon you can be less than enjoyable. This condition is often extremely painful. If you are one who is inclined to use Viagra for recreational purposes — be careful. Arriving in the ER with chest pains and a raging boner is probably not your idea of a fun evening.
Many women of the Sex And The City set view hooking up with a hedge fund manager as the holy grail of sleeping around. Despite the negative press Wall Street masters of the universe have received lately, the benefits that come along with hooking up with New York’s movers and shakers are quite attractive. Fine dining, limitless shopping sprees and first class travel are obviously appealing on their face — however, should you be lucky enough to hook up with one of these guys it might seriously fuck you up. Take, for example, the case of Lisa Maria Falcone (pictured above). Lisa was lucky enough to hook up with hedge fund billionaire Philip Falcone, and since then she has never been the same.
Mrs. Falcone originally came from humble Spanish Harlem roots, but when hooking up with Philip she let her inner crazy emerge. She is currently the target of a lawsuit from the couple’s former butler who claims she repeatedly reached in his pants and grabbed his cock. She didn’t view his being gay as an obstacle asserting to him that he “just needed a good fuck to turn him straight”. The butler was also forced to withstand the indignity of being forced to sleep in the same room as her pet pig. Mrs. Falcone has been seen playing soccer with her kids in Central Park clad in full evening dress (including all of the requisite jewelry), and is now spending her time teaching her pet pig how to play the piano. Ladies, hooking up with a hedgie might not be worth it in the end — save yourself before it is too late.
It used to be that the term “sugardaddy’ came along with all sorts of negative connotations. The recent emergence of a plethora of sugardaddy websites seems to indicate that is no longer the case. Sites like Sugardaddie.com, SeekingArrangement.com and SugarDaddyForMe.com are seeking to capitalize on the legions of wealthy older men looking to hook-up with the hordes of young women desiring to become semi-hookers. Finding wholesome, gorgeous, intelligent, nice girls online who are willing to suck your dick for cash is not an easy task. Weeding through scammers, liars and would be car-bombers on Craigslist is tedious, and other “hook-up” sites are notorious for leading users to fatties, whackos and various polysyllabic STD’s.
An increasingly attractive option for investment bankers, professional athletes and Russian oligarchs with spare cash burning a hole in their pockets is to procure a few sugarbabies via one of the aforementioned sites. Travel to the West Coast often? Then $7500 a month will get you a hot USC sorority girl on standby for your post-meeting entertainment. If you’re bored on frequent business trips to Omaha — then that cute hostess at the Cheesecake Factory very well may be advertising her wares in return for her reasonable monthly rent and payment on her 2008 Kia. Wanna celebrate that seven figure bonus earned for fleecing your counterparties with indecipherable CDO transactions? A pair of bisexual party-girl roommates at Arizona State could be yours. Women can join in the fun as well — most of these sites have sections for cougars in search of a new boytoy.
It appears that unprecedented numbers of women are now willing to take it up the ass — and the New York City Department of Health does not approve. According to recently released statistics, more than 100,000 women in NYC alone have anal sex at least once a year. Although most men would surely view this as a positive development, there are some concerning consequences emanating from the opening of these previously closed orifices.
Whereas gay men now use a condom 61% of the time during anal sex, only 23% of women insist a condom be deployed before rolling over onto all fours. Researchers theorize that the main motivator among females for condom use is pregnancy prevention — obviously not an issue when it comes to buttsecks. If they were aware that the odds of contracting HIV increases by a factor of 30X during unprotected anal sex, then this behavior could change. However, experts fear that behavioral changes might come too late to avoid a serious flare-up of HIV transmissions.
The problem is further compounded by the unwillingness of women who have unprotected anal sex to get tested. 63% of women who insist upon condom use consequent to anal sex get tested regularly, but only 35% of women who prefer bareback get at least annual HIV tests. There appears to be a generational component of this phenomenon — women who are 18-24 are six times more likely to engage in unprotected anal sex than women in the 25-40 demographic. Consequently, HIV is being transmitted at an alarming rate among these reckless young women. This begs the question — where can one find a nice old fashioned girl who only has Gonorrhea?
Who said there is no sense of community these days, and that neighbors never help neighbors anymore? Certainly not this guy. He gives a helping hand to his neighbor in all kinds of ways, from sexual, to medical, to interior design related. Not only does he help in protecting his neighbor’s relationship with his girlfriend, he offers up free medical advice and a warning of potential risks posed by the neighbor’s guest.
In all seriousness, however, this neighbor guy has got to be a complete idiot. His window is obviously facing the parking lot or some public area, and it is close enough for his neighbor to make a positive identification on the guy with a “pretty big tool”. Yet he still did not even bother to move out of plain sight.
Regardless of whether we are talking about a straight or gay hookup, this is just sloppy execution all around. Things happen in the heat of the moment, but when your place is facing the street and you have a girlfriend, you’re asking for it. Not to mention the lights were on.
When it comes to Craigslist, though, there is always the issue of fakes. Some people are just trying to be funny, but something tells me this one’s real. Whether or not it is, it presents a good point for those seeing several people at the same time: shut the blinds, stay away from the window, and don’t be an idiot!
For the millions of us out there trying to figure out how to not sleep with girls that want us, Drunk Irish Guy has laid out the process step by step for us. Actually, if you look at it from a different point of view, Drunk Irish Guy was just being a gentleman in his own way. Let us explain:
Step 1: Attract the girl with a sexy accent. The accent will also help to cover up the slurred speech that kicks in after the 14th shot of Jameson.
Step 2: Show affection by pointing out your “physical” reaction to her beauty.
Step 3: Get a smelly drunk friend to give her the old bump and grind and keep her company on an empty dance floor. You get extra points for calling her a lesbian for not liking it.
Step 4: Heroically rescue the girl’s coat by toppling coat racks and making clear the urgency of her need to leave for a nightcap.
Step 5: Express concern for her sick friend by worrying when she will finish puking. Give the two friends space and monitor them from around the corner.
Step 6: Spare her the game playing by taking a direct approach to express your desire for her.
Despite our being sarcastic here, it is a hilarious story regardless of whether or not our recap is a perspective you agree with. You might have gotten a laugh from Drunk Irish Guy and liked him, or you might have found him repulsive. Either way, you now know precisely how to not hook up with your New Year’s kiss.
Breasts. This blog supports them (pun only half intended) and we think you all need to be better informed with regard to them. In light of this fact, enjoy and rejoice.
Someone with way too much time on his or her hands has come up with this splendid visual guide to things to say during sex. My favorite might be “I rule!”, though I’m not planning to try it on anytime soon.
