Is Casual Sex Right For You? Are you down?
Five questions to consider before engaging in casual sex.
For all their emotional complications, “friends-with-benefits” relationships may offer one advantage: safer sex. The results of a new study show that people in friends-with-benefits relationships are more likely to use condoms during oral and vaginal sex compared to those in traditional romantic partnerships.
So, what if you do not have a “friends-with-benefits” relationship but like the idea of casual sex?
Back in the ’80s, while I was living in Europe, immersed in the world of modeling, there were lots of opportunities for casual sex. I had friends who never slept around and others who did. From this, I learned a few things.
Featured in an article on nymphomania in Elle magazine, I was labeled as someone who had a healthy relationship with sex. Looking back, I am not sure that is the case. But let’s say it was. What are the benefits of casual versus non-casual sex? And is it a good idea for you to have casual sex? Will it benefit you or not?
If you are young and single, it is your choice what you do with your body. Here are some questions to ask yourself first:
1. How do I feel after having sex with someone I don’t know well? Does it make me feel alive and happy or do I feel let down?
2. Can I trust that I have not done anything that will jeopardize my physical or mental health?
Sometimes we kid ourselves into saying it was just for fun and then wait by the phone to see if we hear from him again. It is also important to have protected sex if you don’t know the guy. Even if you do know him, he can feed you a line and then you end up with something you didn’t expect and certainly don’t need.
3. Is my self-esteem really intact? Do I have a strong sense of myself and do what I do from a place of confidence?
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that just because someone sleeps with you, you’ll feel better about yourself. If you already feel good about yourself you will not need that outside approval.
4. Why am I having sex? Is it to avoid facing my own demons?
By sexualizing feelings, we avoid facing our own issues. And while facing our issues head on can be scary, it’s a better path to self-growth.
5. Am I a sex addict?
All addictions have a sneaky way of being rationalzied and denied. Some of my friends in Europe used to worry about me but truly during that phase in my life I was a free spirit experimenting with life. Luckily I had a guardian angel because probably not all my choices were wise.
Take a long hard look at yourself before you decide, and if you are in a committed relationship, think twice before any casual sex. You may never be able to repair the trust issue you create.