Hey China, Sorry About Those War Crimes – Wanna Fuck?

A Japanese porn star learned about her country’s atrocities against China in grad school and feels really bad about it. To make a mends, she wants to rock the world of Chinese students in Japan. If all guilt looked like this, the world would be a better place.

Adult film star Anri Suzuki has a doctorate in history from a prestigious university in Japan. Unlike most other history students there, she focused on the Japanese invasion of China and wrote a detailed paper on the subject. She told the Korea Times, “I want to cure the wounds of the Chinese with my body, and I am practicing this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan.”

Attention Chinese college students: fill out your study abroad papers NOW. You would expect such interest to skyrocket as pupils “get in line”. You could ask whether this would really do anything to repay historical injustices, but the more important question is: have you seen that rack? Anytime you can answer a complicated historical question with some whoopee, it is the right answer as far as we are concerned.

It seems to be a win-win so far. Suzuki said, “I think it is psychological compensation to them. Actually, Chinese students treat me more friendly and comfortably than Japanese.” Something surely was lost in translation, but you can imagine what would be involved with treating her “more friendly and comfortably.” Oh, to be young and Chinese.

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