Hooking Up With Hedge Fund Managers Can Fuck You Up

Many women of the Sex And The City set view hooking up with a hedge fund manager as the holy grail of sleeping around. Despite the negative press Wall Street masters of the universe have received lately, the benefits that come along with hooking up with New York’s movers and shakers are quite attractive. Fine dining, limitless shopping sprees and first class travel are obviously appealing on their face — however, should you be lucky enough to hook up with one of these guys it might seriously fuck you up. Take, for example, the case of Lisa Maria Falcone (pictured above). Lisa was lucky enough to hook up with hedge fund billionaire Philip Falcone, and since then she has never been the same.

Mrs. Falcone originally came from humble Spanish Harlem roots, but when hooking up with Philip she let her inner crazy emerge. She is currently the target of a lawsuit from the couple’s former butler who claims she repeatedly reached in his pants and grabbed his cock. She didn’t view his being gay as an obstacle asserting to him that he “just needed a good fuck to turn him straight”. The butler was also forced to withstand the indignity of being forced to sleep in the same room as her pet pig. Mrs. Falcone has been seen playing soccer with her kids in Central Park clad in full evening dress (including all of the requisite jewelry), and is now spending her time teaching her pet pig how to play the piano. Ladies, hooking up with a hedgie might not be worth it in the end — save yourself before it is too late.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply