The Drunk Irish Guide To Blowing A Sure Thing

For the millions of us out there trying to figure out how to not sleep with girls that want us, Drunk Irish Guy has laid out the process step by step for us. Actually, if you look at it from a different point of view, Drunk Irish Guy was just being a gentleman in his own way. Let us explain:

Step 1: Attract the girl with a sexy accent. The accent will also help to cover up the slurred speech that kicks in after the 14th shot of Jameson.

Step 2: Show affection by pointing out your “physical” reaction to her beauty.

Step 3: Get a smelly drunk friend to give her the old bump and grind and keep her company on an empty dance floor. You get extra points for calling her a lesbian for not liking it.

Step 4: Heroically rescue the girl’s coat by toppling coat racks and making clear the urgency of her need to leave for a nightcap.

Step 5: Express concern for her sick friend by worrying when she will finish puking. Give the two friends space and monitor them from around the corner.

Step 6: Spare her the game playing by taking a direct approach to express your desire for her.

Despite our being sarcastic here, it is a hilarious story regardless of whether or not our recap is a perspective you agree with. You might have gotten a laugh from Drunk Irish Guy and liked him, or you might have found him repulsive. Either way, you now know precisely how to not hook up with your New Year’s kiss.

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2 Responses to “The Drunk Irish Guide To Blowing A Sure Thing”

  1. Carl
    May 6, 2010 at 10:01 pm #

    You get extra points for calling her a lesbian for not liking it. Liked it! This one’s a great way to catch on a chick. Talk about trash way of hooking up. Pick up lines work!

  2. Paul
    May 9, 2010 at 11:34 pm #

    That sexy accent works all the time! I’d like to learn that accent in no time.

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