The worst blog post titles of all time

Without further ado, and in no particular order:

“The 50 funniest moments in child pornography.”
“Women over 60 I’ve raped with a meat cleaver.”
“The 5 snappiest remarks I’ve made while videotaping a miscarriage.”
“My favorite 3 scenes in The Shining to masturbate to.”
“The 10 lamest excuses my girlfriend ever gave for not eating my ass.”
“Pet names for my penis that rhyme with cesspool.”
“My favorite Scriptures to read aloud while teabagging a retarded girl.”
“The 4 best jobs my dad ever lost due to sodomy convictions.”
“Dinners my mother made that tasted worse than the diarrhoea of a cancer patient.”
“The 6 most racist things I’ve yelled out a car window.”
“Women with the worst smelling pussies, in order of ethnicity.”
“Trinkets I own made out of gorilla hands.”
“Fat girls I’ve stood up on New Year’s Eve.”
“The 7 largest objects I’ve ever hidden in my asshole.”
“Women under 30 I’d like to slash with a razor.”
“Freudian slips I’ve had around burn victims.”
“The 10 most barbaric things I’ve done to the foreskin of an immigrant.”
“Neighborhoods I’ve been chased out of due to Megan’s Law.”
“The 5 prettiest girlfriends I ever lost by chasing them with doo doo on a stick.”
“Dreams I’ve shattered by driving drunk.”
“Women I’ve seen in snuff films that reminded me of Nicole Kidman.”
“Speech impediments I’ve tolerated during phone sex.”
“Embarrassing remarks that have been made regarding my genitals warts.”
“Good-natured anecdotes about the Columbine shootings.”
“Important political events I’ve spoiled by loudly defecating in my pants.”
“People I’ve made up AIDS rumors about, in order of how badly it ruined their lives.”
“Black churches I bombed in the south.”
“20 people I hope die of leukemia.”
“The 10 most erotic wrestling holds ever put on me by an older gentleman.”
“The 8 most disfigured people I ever beat up to impress a girl.”
“Celebrity face I’ve painted on my scrotum.”
“Inappropriate times I’ve screamed, “Cunt!” at my grandmother.”
“American League shortstops I want to suck off, in order of batting average.”
“My favorite songs to hum while gay bashing with a hammer claw.”
“The 5 nicest hineys I ever sniffed by accident.”
“Altzeimer patients I’ve bilked out of their life savings by posing as a relative.”
“The 15 dirtiest things I would do with Bob Dole’s right arm.”
“Rectal itch creams I’ve received on my birthday, in order of effectiveness.”
“25 autistics I think are faking it.”
“Best selling poems I’ve written about clitoral circumcision.”
“The 3 foulest fluids ever dripped on me by a prostitute.”
“Dates I’ve had that wound up going to trial, in order of how badly they were asking for it.”
“My 5 most impressive achievements as a N.A.M.B.L.A. member.”
“Girls I’ve fingered in their sleep.”
“10 things I’ve done while babysitting that could me misconstrued.”
“Sexual fantasies I’ve had revolving around pig feces.”
“Under aged girls I’ve had erection difficulties with.”
“Girlfriends who’ve caught me 69ing with their fathers.”
“Parasites I’ve caught nesting in my pubic hair.”
“The 4 most inconvenient times a pigeon has shit in my mouth.”
“The 6 most disgusting Port o Johns I’ve fallen into face first.”
“Relatives I’ve gotten erections with while slow dancing.”

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14 Responses to “The worst blog post titles of all time”

  1. Paul
    February 9, 2010 at 11:16 pm #

    LOL. My fave one is this “My favorite 3 scenes in The Shining to masturbate to.” I gotta read that post Mr. Bates!

  2. Barney
    February 10, 2010 at 9:04 pm #

    “Celebrity face I’ve painted on my scrotum.” Lol. I’d like to do this some time! Somethung different huh!

  3. RD
    February 11, 2010 at 7:54 pm #

    These worst blog titles are actually catchy to me. It may sound worse but definitely worth to read. 🙂

    • Olive
      February 14, 2010 at 10:27 pm #

      I agree. They may be worse in title but totally catchy! I should think of worse titles from now on.

  4. Fb
    February 15, 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    Girls I’ve fingered in their sleep. I deifinitely should read this. He’s the man indeed!

  5. Amman
    February 16, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

    “Women with the worst smelling pussies, in order of ethnicity.” This one I’ve got to see if my German girlfriend has topped the list. I dig smelly pussies though. It’s my fetish!

  6. Le Carlo
    February 17, 2010 at 10:05 pm #

    Those titles are yet too funny! I gotta share this link to my online friends. ROFL

  7. Erica_Guaca
    February 18, 2010 at 8:04 pm #

    Ohhhhh my God who are you? I am in love.
    Ahhh-mazing.

  8. Daniel Paul Edward Tyson-Young
    March 1, 2010 at 7:19 pm #

    I once asked two disabled boys to compare penis sizes. They are both Autistic.
    The two Autistic boys I do not see anymore, one of them is a pervert, and a slob, the other is fickle, and his dad is a window cleaner.
    The fickle one, can’t even take a light hearted joke about how I could have fun with his Dads coulour blindness, also he goes around stealing my boyfreinds off me and haveing sex with my brother who has STI’s.

  9. Daniel Paul Edward Tyson-Young
    March 3, 2010 at 8:54 pm #

    Have you acdtually killed anyone? I tryed to have someone exececuted once.
    I nearly killed someone when I was 6 by pushing a big bolder down a hill when I was 6.
    I called a seek a paki.
    I kissed a 3 year old girl when I was a young boy.
    I sucked off someone to young for me when I was a young boy.
    I use to spit paper balls out of straws at people out of a car window.
    I pushed books onto a teachers head whilst at school.
    I through chairs across the class room whilst st school.
    I walked into an open door and got arrested for burgalery, and arson.
    (a fire work went off, stupid chavs, need a good slap.)

    I asked a 13 year old if he would like a blow, when I was a teenager.
    I got my brother to stick a penis on my elderley next door neighboures car window, which was made out of plaster cine.
    I got my brother to take off all h=is cloths when he was 12 years old, and run from the grass way, all the way back to my house, whilst whearing a sheet of daffadils in plastic which was in the form of a table mat around his genatils.
    This plastic was opauqe, the daffadills whear not.
    I threatend to have my deputy heads throat cut.
    I use to frequently call my Grandad a pedophile, for frenh kissing my brother when he was a kid (thear is nothing wrong with this.)
    I deliberatley cracked my brothers skull open with a bin, twice, when I was a little kid, thats wright, I have hospitalised him twice.
    I have stolen male that is not mine. china when I was a kid.
    I befreinded a 10 yearold when I was a boy (13 at the time)
    and I took his nokia phone off him, and rang up people in brighton, telling them how useless they are, how perfetic they are, and what I would have liked to do to them should I have been thear.
    I acusd my counsorlor of being a sex offender.
    I aqused my metor of abuseing me, mentally.
    I watched my brother get hit, and I did nothing about it, and I did not care less.
    I have tryed to get members of my fammaly to get in contact with people to inflict harm apon other people.
    I sucked of someone who has clamidia, I did not know t
    I use to pose as a boy scout, and claim money that was not mine.
    I through a bread knife across my liveing room, when I was a boy, a young boy, and I intended for it to narrorly miss my Grandma and my brother.
    I once cut my brothers neck, with my finger nail, narrowly missing his main arterly, this was in a fight, or more of a scuffel shall I say.
    I use to try and look up child pornagraphby when I was a young teenager.
    I typed in child pornography on the internet adress bar in a fammaly thearpay center, in full veiw of everyone, when I was 12, and whilst I was with my Grandad, pressed eneter, and then typed it in again, and left it thear and left the building.
    I have masturbated over the colombine documentary.
    I have had a mild fantasy, in fact, a number of fantcys over the James Bulger case.
    I have imagined meeting James, and forming a reationship with him.
    I use to goto the toilets in a park in Hull, whislt the schools wear comeing out, and start masturbateing, and I would pray that a 16 year old would come in thear, and that I would be able to fuck him.
    I dated a 15 year old when I was 18/19.
    I did not have sexual realtions with him, I have actually been eating from his favourite pizza shop, that has been set up down my road, whilst the delivery women, looks strikingly like the person I use to live with, who’s fotser son, was a bit to young for me when I was too, a young boy.
    I managed to stop him from being raped by another boy btw.
    MY GREAT GREAT GREAT ANCETOR HAD SEX WITH ONE OF HIS CHILDREN. CREATING A GENERATION OF PEOPLE WHO BOTH LOOK LIKE ME AND ARE LIKE ME.
    They lable this PDD-NOS with freatures of Marfan Syndrome.
    I have been diagnosed as being clyphemic.
    That means, I am a bit, and at times in the past, ver borderling, very unstable in my mood, and acted at times like a complete loner.
    I nearly killed someone who was not giveing me enough attention, I nearley got a rock and cracked it across his skull.
    This person had been physically violent to me in the past.
    What makes men and women kill?
    It makes you want to kill, when you are with someone for three years, who does not give you any sex, deliberatley flirts with you, plays mind games with you all day, plays nothing but rap musto you, goes behind your back and smashes up your flat in newland avenue, pretends he is schizophrenic and punches you, and does not talk to you for 2 years, jut to see what your reaction will be.
    What else have I dun, thats it I think, and yes, I very nearley had someone executed, and I did time in prison for it.
    4 months to be presise.
    I loved every minute of it in Doncastor, I loved maturbateing over the other inmates in the ground outside my cell window, thank god it was a prison set up by the agaency.
    I have had a few sexdual fantsies over my Grandma, I have imagined haveing oral sex with Joshes 15 year old brother whilst Josh fucks me in my ass.
    What elese, let me think, oh yea, I have told Eastenmders, to get my spitting imagage, Ganine, to abduct Dotty, then for her to sell her to columbian drug dealers.
    Then I have told them for the police to arrest her, and not be able to charge her on lack of eveidence, and for her to go back to the square and for her to be forever called a pedophile for the nect three years, whilst in the mean time, nasty nick comes back on the square, and goes out with her.
    Now what everyone does not know is, Ganine is the one who sold Dotty to Nick.
    Hopefully all this is going to happen, and if and when Nick comes back, it will be without Dotty.
    And hopefully, Dotty will come back in 15 years time, as a prostitute.
    The End.

    Oh I forgot to metion, I may be wrong hear, as I was in a daze of a tragic end to a sexual encounter, but I had a panick attack with the Prince of Wales (yet again, I may be wrong, I was in a daze.).

  10. Daniel Paul Edward Tyson-Young
    March 3, 2010 at 10:24 pm #

    oh.

  11. MELISSA FISCHER
    March 13, 2010 at 10:11 pm #

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  12. TNA Wrestling
    April 23, 2010 at 5:19 am #

    Cheers, I go over all your posts, keep them coming.

  13. Isabel Barera
    January 14, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

    Shit, just re-read the thread. Ignore me, I’m an idiot.

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