1. 9 Sex Myths you Shouldn’t Believe.
2. Men who help clean get more sex.
3. Hustler publisher sues nephews for making “inferior porn”.
4. Behold: the condom pillow.
5. Creepy kids’ books that really exist.
6. Strippers. (Oh go on, it’s really funny. We promise.)
7. Touch my balls. Touch them.
8. Sexual bases throughout the decades.
9. Give this man a Nobel Prize.
10. The Porn Rangers. Watch out.

The latest terrifying expose from The Onion News Network drops the bombshell: kids who watch porn may expect sex to be enjoyable–even physically gratifying. We’re as shocked as disgusted by the dissemination of these cruel lies as you are.

View the video; experience the full horror of this mindshattering revelation.

It’s a cry from the heart. What guys will suffer through just to get laid.

(P.S. Watch until the end because it’s BRILLIANT.)

Feigning Interest on a Date – Watch more Funny Videos

The holiday season is a great time to sit back and reflect on our pasts. Or, you know. The pasts of sex tape celebs.

So in that spirit, click through and enjoy the trip down memory lane.

Someone with way too much time on his or her hands has come up with this splendid visual guide to things to say during sex. My favorite might be “I rule!”, though I’m not planning to try it on anytime soon.

Click through for the full-sized image.

Birds do it, bees do it… and here’s the highly amusing proof:

Quick Summary:

Hookup potential: 4/5 Features: 4/5 Design: 3/5 Content: 4.5/5

• A professional proofreader would do wonders for this site
• Different categories for members
• A few special features like the questionnaire
• Mainstream offerings present

The Full Story:

Shagpal.com is a dating site that needs improvements on several aspects. Grammatical errors and spelling issues should not be part of a professional dating site. I know that this is a dating site and not an entry to a literary contest but still, a lot of prospective clients are educated people so they would appreciate that the sites they patronize are free from these lapses in grammar and spelling.

However, the layout of Shagpal.com is adequate. There is nothing special to it and no dramatic and obvious faults either. Navigation links are found on the left side, instead of being placed above the page as seen in many sites. The speed in switching from one page to the next is fast. Loading time is short.

When I signed up for this site, I was required to give my full name and the standard data such as username, location, age, gender, preferences, and birthdate. The site asked me to signify the areas where I wanted to look for people. Well, many sites would simply assume that their members would be looking for other people who are in the same area as they are. A profile is not mandated by the site.

A user would be asked to agree that he or she has gone over the Terms of Service, but then, here is the shag, or rather, the snag. The closest thing you would find is a terms of use, but if you read it prior to the submission of the profile, you would lose all that you’ve done.

Here is another letdown the way I see it. It is mentioned in the site’s TOS that each profile and photo becomes the site’s copyright, which the site can use as it deems appropriate. Many dating sites simply shrug off this clause, or permit a user to decide if he or she wants his or her photos to be used in any marketing endeavor. If you go to the site, you would then see that, unlike many other dating websites, there are many profiles without pictures. Should we wonder why? I sure hope that this was intentional on the webmasters’ side and not an oversight. At least they could then justify it as a sort of a statement.

The site has its standard offerings. It has search possibilities, forums, chatting, instant messaging, friend list, winks, galleries, and the ability to block users from sending you messages. Special features are present such as event calendars, restore/backup functions, and even Google maps.

Shagpal.com also has an Adult Questionnaire for the members. Covered by this section are Sexual Activities, Fantasies, Sexual Accessories (the kind of sex toys you love, for example), Physical Stuff (for example, your favorite attire in the evening). At the very least, this is something I do not see in all adult dating sites.

If you are fond of reading, then you would be at least glad to know that this site has a section devoted to articles. As of the last time I checked it out, here are two of the titles: “Anal Sex: how to give women incredible orgasms” and “Make Her Horny” (10 easy tricks), which are very interesting topics. If the managers of the site would put pictures along with the articles, it would add sophistication to the pages, not to mention that it would be more fun to go through.

Before you take out your money to join the site, read the site’s FAQ page first. It should give you crucial bits of knowledge that would be useful in terms of navigation and functions.

Does one have to be a member to stay in the site? Non-paying members would be able to search for members, upload just one photo, and search results. Those who have Silver membership would be able to upload 5 pictures, email other members, view others’ pictures, get event management privileges, and “wink” at other members, just to name a few. If you are a Gold member, then you take all the slices of the cake: you could upload up to 20 photos, upload vids, do a hotlist, ban some users, save a profile, send instant messages, and manage blogs.

In the members home page, you get all of the following data: expiration of membership, days left until the expiration, new messages (number), number of views on one’s profile, number of winks received, and members online. All of these are updated since the person’s last log-in.

What then is the bottom line that I’m gonna give? Warts and all, I still say that going to the site is not bad. After all, the site is technically a free dating place, although members do get a lot of privileges. Let us just pray that the shortcomings mentioned are soon.

Found this Twilight parody over at FunnyOrDie. As funny as it is, it makes a good point. Remember in the New Moon movie where Jasper tries to kill her after she cuts herself? With vampire’s super-smell and stuff, wouldn’t he be doing that like 5 days out of every month? (Uhm, I mean not that I’d ever watch a Twilight movie, but I read about that scene on the bathroom wall at the local, uh, chest-hair-growing club. Ahem.)

Oral sex. We all want it. Many of us would like more of it than we’re getting. But bringing up the subject can be tricksy and awkward for some. But fear no longer! From the demented minds at Cracked comes this handy dandy unisexual tip chart. Read on and start getting the genital nomming you want and deserve…

An HIV-positive man infected his wife with the virus because he wanted to start having sex with her again.

The 35-year-old injected his blood into the sleeping woman, who had refused to have a physical relationship for a year after discovering he was carrying the virus that causes Aids.

He pricked her twice with a sewing needle laced with his blood, believing the pair would be ‘equals’ once more.

But he was behind bars in New Zealand today awaiting sentencing after admitting infecting another person with a disease.

The husband had emigrated to the country in 2004 with his wife and two young children, none of whom can be named.

Immigration officials found he had HIV, but his wife and children did not, during compulsory health checks.

The woman, 33, confronted her partner on discovering she was infected a year later.

She said: ‘All he said was he was sorry. He told me “I used needles on you because I wanted you to be the same as me so that you can live with me and you won’t leave me”.’

She told the court: ‘I just wanted to maintain the relationship for the sake of the children…He insisted on staying and mentioned that he was not worried about sex…any more. All he wanted was to see the children grow with both parents under one roof.’

But in May last year, she said, she discovered a sting-like mark on her left thigh. ‘After having a shower I put some lotion on myself and I could feel pain on my thigh. When I looked at it, it was turning red like a circle, getting and bigger.’

Later that morning, when she returned home from her nursing studies unexpectedly, she said, she saw her husband in the bedroom with a syringe full of blood.

When she asked him what he was doing, he pushed past her and walked away, refusing to discuss it. The wife searched a rubbish bin for evidence of the syringe but found nothing.

The paper reported that two days later the wife woke to a stinging feeling in her leg. ‘In my sleep I felt a prick on my leg I got up..and I flicked the blankets…I looked at (the husband) and he was wide awake.’

She said she asked him if he had pricked her and he said he had not. But later she found evidence of ‘blood sprinkles’ on their duvet, which, she said, her husband tried to hide from her.

She told him to leave the house – and in September, when her doctor suggested a test at a routine check-up, she found she was HIV-positive.

A nurse who had been in contact with the family and who was present when her GP told her the bad news told the court: ‘At this meeting (the woman) was beside herself with emotion. (She) could not work out how she had got HIV because she stated that she had not had sex with her partner for about a year.’

Later, during a meeting with an infectious disease specialist, the husband cried and repeated: ‘Please forgive me.’

The Sunday Star Times quoted Mr Simon Harger-Ford of the New Zealand Aids Foundation as saying that the organisation had never heard of a victim being infected in such a way ‘and with such intent.’

The number of women connected to Tiger Woods could top a dozen by week’s end, according to several sources familiar with Woods’ behavior during his frequent trips to Las Vegas.

In the light of that fact, we thought you all might enjoy taking a peek at the tail Tiger considers worth risking his wife and kids for.

In no particular order:

Rachel Uchitel is a 34 year-old New Yorker with a history of dating married celebrities after she lost her fiancée in the September 11 terrorist attacks.

Serving as a VIP manager at some of the most successful clubs in New York City, Uchitel has come in contact with more than a few famous faces. Her most notorious being David Boreanz, with whom she was linked to while his wife, Jaime Bergman, was pregnant.

Uchitel’s grandparents owned and operated the notorious El Morocco nightclub, popular in the 1950s and frequented by the likes of President John F. Kennedy and Cary Grant.

Jaimee Grubbs is a 24-year-old Las Vegas cocktail waitress who appeared on the VH1 show “Tool Academy.” She appeared on the show with her “tool” boyfriend Shawn Southern.

According to a report in US Weekly, the Tiger Woods-Jaimee Grubbs affair lasted 31 months and included 20 sexual encounters. Jaimee Grubbs claims that she has more than 300 text messages from the golfer. US Weekly also claims to have a Tiger Woods voicemail that suggests wife Elin Nordegren may have been aware of the Tiger Woods-Jaimee Grubbs affair.

Jamie Jungers, a Las Vegas model, is one of the latest woman to allegedly have had an affair with Tiger Woods.

A MySpace search for Jamie Jungers reveals a profile for a 26-year-old Las Vegas blonde with the same name. While it is not clear that the profile belongs to the woman who allegedly slept with Woods, the profile picture matches a photo at RadarOnline.com. Similarly, a Facebook search for Jamie Jungers also yields a profile whose photograph looks strikingly similar to the MySpace picture.

Take a peek at more exclusive pics of Jungers’ racy attire after here (and no, the undergarments are not tiger print), plus learn more about the life of a Trashy Girl and the role of Tiger’s maybe mistress in Sin City.

Life & Style claims that they can exclusively reveal the identity of a woman who has quietly been seeing golf star Tiger Woods for months — as recently as late October.




Kalika Moquin, a marketing manager for The Bank nightclub in Las Vegas, hooked up with Tiger more than once at his Las Vegas hotel during the weekend of Oct. 23, an insider tells Life & Style. Kalika was the third woman, chronologically, to be publicly linked to Tiger.

When contacted by Life & Style, Kalika neither confirmed nor denied an affair with Tiger. “It’s not appropriate for me to comment one way or the other,” she said. “At this time, I’m just choosing to focus on my job.”

Reps for Tiger would not comment. But the insider tells Life & Style, “They’ve hooked up a bunch of times. Tiger told Kalika that married life isn’t all it’s built up to be. He said he wasn’t happy in his marriage or his home life and that there was just so much pressure on him.”

Mindy Lawton, a 34-year-old waitress, claims to have had a year-long affair with Tiger Woods filled with regular sex in a range of locations. The Daily Mail writes that the pair met in the summer of 2006 at a diner where Lawton worked.

According to Lawton, Woods is quite the lover. He is “very well endowed” and “knows his way around the bedroom. On a scale of ten I would give him 12,” she tells News of the World. Lawton’s sister, Lynn, adds that Mindy described their sex as “extremely good.”

Woods was fond of sleeping with her in numerous locations — from parking lots to the shower to the garage — but the golfer refused to have sex in his bedroom.

Lawton also says that Woods has a particular passion for the color red, which he is known to wear on Sundays at golf tournaments. But according to Lawton, that isn’t the only place he enjoys the color:

“His favourite [underwear] were my red panties with black lace. He had a thing about red and said he always wore it on Friday as that was his mother’s favourite colour.”

Interviews with Lawton also reference Woods’ penchant for sending steamy text messages. One claimed he was “dreaming of being inside of her.” This claim would fit with the alleged text messages he sent to Jaimee Grubbs.

Cori Rist is said by the Sunday New York Daily News to be a traveling companion of Tiger Woods. Cori Rist has yet to deny or come forward with information.

Cori Rist, 31 likes to patronize some of the better Manhattan clubs, and that is how Cori Rist and Tiger Woods allegedly met. Then Tiger Woods began to fly her to meet him while on tour, Tiger would get a suite and one of his staffers would book Cori Rist an adjoining room, The NY Daily News reported.

One of Tiger Woods friends introduced Cori Rist to Woods, and the friend said she was quite attractive.

Tiger Woods would never want to leave the room once they were inside, and Cori wanted to go out. A source told the NY Daily News that Tiger didn’t want to be seen with her outside the room, and she didn’t like to stay in the suite all the time.

When asked to confirm or deny the allegations, Cori Rist told the NY Times, “No comment.” On any of it, they asked? “Not at this time,” Cory Rist stated.

Porn star Holly Sampson, whose CV includes films such as Lingerie or Bust and Diary of a Horny Housewife, has been included in the list of women claiming to have been Tiger Woods’ mistresses. According to IMDB, Holly Sampson has made 85 appearances on TV and in pornographic films.

Holly Sampson has also starred in films like Emmanuelle 2000, and (wtf?) TV show The Wonder Years. Miss Sampson began her porn career by appearing in several hardcore adult films in 1998 under the single-name aliases Nicolette and Zoe, but quickly left that side of the industry to perform in softcore instead.

Miss Sampson, 36, yesterday refused to confirm or deny any relationship with 33-year-old Woods after being named as one of his mistresses by the New York Daily News.

Who next?

Two more mistresses are rumored to be on the brink of coming forward and being named.

A 26-year-old former cocktail waitress in Orlando, Fla., is the latest to brag about dallying with Tiger Woods — claiming to have carried on a nearly two-year affair with him before and during his marriage to Elin Nordegren.

The unidentified cocktail waitress, who would be mistress no. 8, is being repped by Florida lawyer Michael O’Quinn, who told The Post yesterday that the single gal, who met Tiger at Orlando’s Roxy Nightclub, now “has a corporate job” and doesn’t want to be identified — yet.

“She had not come forward until this point out of respect for Mr. Woods and because she wanted to remain anonymous,” he said.

“This woman was 20 when Tiger approached her . . . She was a VIP cocktail server,” he said.

“Her relationship was not a one-night stand. It was long-term, and it was witnessed by many people in this community . . . She has detailed knowledge of his life, his habits.”

Meanwhile, the London Sun said No. 9 is a sexy British TV broadcaster.

“He would hook up with her when he went to the UK,” the tabloid quoted an unidentified source as saying. “His fling . . . was the talk of the PGA.”

Little is known at the moment about Woods’ ninth alleged mistress, but British reports say she is a sex-addicted cougar.

MSNBC.com hinted that Tiger’s total could easily soar to at a dirty dozen by week’s end. The manager of a Vegas hot spot told the Web site, “[Woods] wasn’t one to send away someone who was interested. There was a revolving door.”

We’ll keep you updated with developments.

UPDATE #1
RadarOnline is reporting that Tiger Woods’ wife has moved out of their home. Tiger and his reps are reported to be trying to keep Elin’s move top secret and hope she will come back to the house as soon as possible.

UPDATE #2

Latest possible mistress to be revealed is Veronica Siwik-Daniels aka Joslyn James, a double-D brunette whose specialties include being double-penetrated on camera in many adult films. Check out some more of her nudes here.

Miss Siwik-Daniels posted this facebook status update on Dec. 2 apparently meaning it for all the ladies running their mouth about her man.

“I find it comical when certain individuals have no life of their own and want to be ME…so terribly bad. LMAO!”

The emphasis on “ME,” says says one VIP concierge who has worked with Rachel Uchitel, was Veronica’s way of respecting her unique relationship with Tiger and not becoming part of the screeching hordes. She did not return a message left on her phone requesting comment. Good for her.

The VIP concierge was less discreet, however, telling deadspin.com that Joslyn used love to talk about “all the freaky shit Tiger dug in bed,” and that every time he’d come to town he’d pay for a visit. You know, with cash.

Found this hilarious upload by MasterOfHyrule today on YouTube, which compiles some of the funniest sexual sequences in video games. Take 6:47 out of your day and have a chuckle.

Is it a blowjob? A handjob? No, putting your junk in the RealTouch is like fucking the Matrix, the rabbit hole lined with shockingly personal conveyor belts and the moneymakers of various Jennas, Toris, and Brees at the other end.

Consider the best porn movies which are, let’s say, a concerted effort between performers, videographers, and directors to get you off. The RealTouch adds yet another participant to your masturbation’s open marriage: a hard-working haptic encoder.

The RealTouch device is slightly bigger than that squash you devoured yesterday, and far more interesting to put your penis in. Opposite your penis, a USB cable connects the RealTouch hardware to your computer where, logged in to your account at RealTouch.com, you can access hundreds of scenes specially coded for use with your new conversation starter.

Starting with an ever-increasing library of straight, gay, and even anime P.O.V. videos, RealTouch’s North Carolina-based programmers then assiduously mark, frame by frame, each movement of (for example) Tori Black’s mouth, adjusting for heat, wetness, friction, and ferocity, sending these routines to two opposing conveyor belts within the machine. Ditto Tori’s hands, ass, and vagina.

Unlike other marital aids in which the user actually has to do more work to operate them, the RealTouch is particularly eager to please. You select a video and put your dick in a machine. Science and your own self-control do the rest.

“I just stood there,” one test subject said. “It really did all the work for me.”

One drawback of the RealTouch is that it is not yet Mac compatible. So I farmed out the job of testing the device and its web interface to three PC users. Top of the list of my review criteria was not to tell me how weird it was.

“Look,” I said. “We know it’s weird.”

Initial web setup and login to the RealTouch account were simple, followed by a Windows Media-based software download that was considerably less difficult than a WordPress install. Our review model made a whirring sound and one subject was tentative about making a penile approach to it.

“I didn’t know if I’d come back,” he said.

But they were Heroes, and each on different occasions tried videos with Tera Patrick, Ashlynn Brooke, Tori Black, Bree Olson, and Jenna Jameson, noting that Bree used up a lot of lube.

The belts work in conjunction with heating coils, a lube reservoir, and a simple adjustably tight seal (but haptics don’t care how big you are). Is one hole different from the other? The belts squeeze tighter and the coils heat hotter when you’re in Bree’s ass.

Cleaning, refilling, and transporting this machine require, as you’d imagine, a commitment, but not one our test subjects, each either happily married or otherwise partnered, minded (“but watch out for leaks,” one said).

What I find fascinating about the RealTouch is that someone in Charlotte was focusing as intently on Jenna Jameson or Lisa Ann (or dozens of other actresses) as you would be, dropping coder’s keystrokes in anticipation of your eventual loads.

So, even though masturbation is a personal experience, the RealTouch proves that it takes a village to jerk you off.

(Piece from Fleshbot.com on November 25, 2009, written by Gram Ponante.)

Hooray! Another product on the market designed to make women feel insecure! “Linger: The Internal Feminine Flavoring” is exactly what it sounds like—a mixer for vaginal cocktails. In the web site‘s own words:

A small, naturally sweetened flavoring, free of artificial dyes, which was created to flavor the secretions of a woman when she is sexually aroused. Linger is shaped for comfort during insertion and use, and is formulated to dissolve slowly, so the effects last and last…

This fruity vaginal suppository takes 45 minutes to an hour to dissolve completely, but the flavor lasts and lasts! Hoorah! No more biting down on the bacteria farm! No more cunnilingual clambake coupled with creamy cooter curveball!

However, Jen Phillips at Mother Jones has a different take on the product:

Linger-Mints A little digging revealed that Linger is made/distributed by a company called Admints, which just happens to make trade show mints. And the Linger samples just happen to have have the exact same shape, taste, and ingredients as Admint’s sample mints. So how does Linger manage to pass off breath mints as vaginal Tic Tacs in $7.99 packs?

Despite the salacious creation story and testimonials on its site (”It gets a little warm as it starts to dissolve which took just under an hour. Then, it is SO good!!”), the mint is labeled “for novelty use only.” This is a common practice in the sex-products industry, explains Charlie Glickman, the education program manager at Good Vibrations. It gives manufacturers some cover if something goes awry, he explains. “They could say, ‘It’s just a novelty toy. You weren’t actually expecting to use this were you?’” And if you actually do expect to use Linger to “flavor the woman in a manner that is safe and effective,” be warned: its primary ingredient is sugar, which is not safe for the vagina. It messes up the pH and can lead to a really painful yeast infection, a condition that definitely doesn’t make someone want to “linger.”

Having had a few horrifying yeast infection experiences with less-than-sanitary ladies myself I can’t really come down in favor of anything that’s going to be responsible for further fungal fiascos, but don’t let me make up your minds for you. Anyone out there actually tried these mints? Let us know! Holla!