“Introducing Succu Dry Sex in a Can from Fleshlight, the world’s first vampire inspired sex toy for men. Take a walk on the dark side and get familiar with this pale brew. But be careful! Though this may feel like love at first bite, make sure you have wood poised to penetrate before you get completely drained!”

That’s right, it’s exactly what it looks like. A $44 Fleshlight for putting your penis into. With vampire teeth. Now you YES YOU can recreate all those scenes from your favorite piece of Twilight or True Blood fan fiction in the privacy and comfort of your own home, car, or place of (unholy) worship.

Here’s a few more images to whet your wet whistle for future fangy whistle-wetting.

Side view: It's going to go down on you like a freaking Moray eel.

Cutaway view: Just like a regular fleshlight only fang-y. (And $4 more!)

Obligatory shot of hot chick with fleshlight to make you feel like less of a loser for purchasing one.

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