Exactly what it says on the tin. Click through on the image to read on. (Possibly a troll; if so, MAJOR win achieved.)

Rocking on with our Hallo-theme from the last post, there’s nothing that says ‘Happy Halloween’ like a pumpkin spreading its creasey derriere in order that we might better relish enjoy the sight of his incandescent seedy sphincter. For your wart-nosed pleasure, here are 10 examples of jack-o-lanterns served up with an X-rated seasoning of sauciness.

And if that’s not enough slatternly gourd-like squash of the genus Cucurbita for you, check out 2 Pumpkins, 1 Cup.

“Introducing Succu Dry Sex in a Can from Fleshlight, the world’s first vampire inspired sex toy for men. Take a walk on the dark side and get familiar with this pale brew. But be careful! Though this may feel like love at first bite, make sure you have wood poised to penetrate before you get completely drained!”

That’s right, it’s exactly what it looks like. A $44 Fleshlight for putting your penis into. With vampire teeth. Now you YES YOU can recreate all those scenes from your favorite piece of Twilight or True Blood fan fiction in the privacy and comfort of your own home, car, or place of (unholy) worship.

Here’s a few more images to whet your wet whistle for future fangy whistle-wetting.

Side view: It's going to go down on you like a freaking Moray eel.

Cutaway view: Just like a regular fleshlight only fang-y. (And $4 more!)

Obligatory shot of hot chick with fleshlight to make you feel like less of a loser for purchasing one.

1. Make your own sex toys.
2. More housework == more sex.
3. Veeery disturbing Japanese clay animation short film.
4. Woman accuses gay boss of rape.
5. How to tell if your son is gay.
6. Uhm. Pardon?
7. Ignatius: the Ultimate Youth Pastor.
8. AIEEEEE.
9. Whale penis leather car interior. You read right.
10. When You Marry, a 1962 textbook for highschoolers.

A man in Japan has perfected the art of making schoolgirl panties take flight. I think this guy deserves a Nobel prize and/or MacArthur Genius Grant so that he can continue his research.

Quick Summary:

Hookup potential: 4/5 Features: 3/5 Design: 4/5 Content: 3/5

• Great site for women looking for sugar daddies and accomplished older men looking for hot young babes.
• Brings you to the action at once with photos of new members.
• Excellent searching and filtering capabilities.
• Absence of online chat feature.

The Full Story:

SugarDaddie brings me to the action as soon as I log in. Right on my home page are displayed the photos of new members so that I can check them out straight away. Many adult dating sites try to show me all of their members when I browse without regard for my established preferences. In some sites, members presented to me include men even when I have clearly specified that I am heterosexual and am seeking women. It is refreshing to observe here that all of the photos presented are those of women. I reckon that if a babe logs all the photos she sees are those of sugar daddies. Isn’t that great! It’s simple logic, but very effective.

Twenty-five potential babes are shown right there on my home page! It is also easy to check the complete list of new sugarbabes. Browsing is easy with the use of obvious “Previous” and “Next” buttons. Another excellent aspect of this site is that most of the members have pictures! I have been proven right. It can be done! Members can really be required to post their pictures and it seems that those are really their pictures and not some photograph of an actress they picked somewhere in the Internet. I have always thought that real photos should be a requisite for members of adult dating sites. This is a great site for looking for intimate “arrangement” relationships.

Under the 25 photos of the newest sugarbabes on my home page is a Quick Search tool. Great again because it is able to detect that I am looking for sugarbabes. There is no (useless) option presented where I can seek for sugardaddies. See what I mean? The application of simple logic can lead to a user friendly adult dating site. With this tool, I can specify country and state or city and the age range. Simple but effective.

Also on my home page is an indicator of the number of members online and a link that I can click to see the profiles of those who are online. Right next to this link are links to the Inbox and Outbox folders of my email interface.

If I want a more detailed search filtering system, I simply check the menu column on the upper left portion of my home page. By clicking on Search I can go to another user friendly page for finding dates. It tells me the country that I have previously specified where to look for sugarbabes but here I can change that to United Kingdom, United States, Canada, Netherlands, Germany, or Switzerland. It can specify the age range, the ethnicity, body type, hair color, height range, smoker or non-smoker, drinker or non-drinker, and city.

In the search results, I can click on a photo and I get to her profile page that includes her self-description. Under the page are buttons to help me add her to my Hot List or contact her. I can also navigate back to the previous page.

Another interesting feature of SugarDaddie are the forums. However, there are only four forum threads. One is focused on members sharing their jokes or funny anecdotes. The next forum thread tackles only those things that are related to online dating. The third thread focuses on movie reviews, while the last thread discusses the meaning of sugarbabe and sugardaddy. Here I got to know quite a lot about some members in these forums.

There are also other helpful features on this adult dating site; one offers tips regarding online dating. Another important aspect of this site is the ability to save the results of my searches. Once again, a simple feature that proves very helpful. This feature means that I do not have to repeat the same criteria when conducting searches. I simply check this particular database. This is found in the My Matches feature in the main menu on the upper left corner of the page. Another interesting subsection of this category is the Reverse Hotlist, which means that I can see those members who placed me on their hot lists. With this feature, I can check their profiles and if I find them to be compatible with me, I also put them in my Hotlist.

Accomplished men looking for hotties: here’s your Disneyland!

1. Asexual and proud.
2. Vagina mints, seriously.
3. Dirty laundry… on facebook.
4. Halloween costume of win.
5. The Onion calls that shit.
6. Al Franken trolls John Ashcroft.
7. This is what the Internet does to young men.
8. Keep it classy, Australia.
9. “Why I slept with 1300 women.”
10. Meghan McCain: Not A Slut.

Sounds like the perfect end to an evening of canapes, ballroom dancing, hat-tipping, and good-natured uvula-swallowing japery with the minor aristocracy over conditions in our sweatshops.

Quick Summary:

Hookup potential: 4/5 Features: 5/5 Design: 4/5 Content: 4/5

• Different kinds of memberships
• Elaborate member profiles
• Message boards are present
• Free trial is allowed

The Full Story:

This site is an ideal place for gay men. OutPersonals.com serves as an avenue for sex encounters and also a chance to congregate with like-minded persons. OutPersonals has a plethora of good features that should entice you to become a member.

A lot of good-looking men are in here, and they aren’t shy about showcasing their well-sculpted bodies for other men to ogle. If you do not want to be a member, you would not be able to check out all the pictures or profiles in the site. A non-member can check out a few, however. A popular profile could merit special privileges. A profile would show a person’s photo, location, age, etc. The profiles that I have browsed through are actually detailed, revealing what the profile’s owner could give you. There are photos that reveal total nudity, and this is of course a bonus to those who want to see the “equipment” prior to any serious communication or meet up.

So, how could one know if his profile is getting good feedback? Anybody in the site could send winks to show that he likes you. Free chatting is available. As a member, I could click directly on a profile of a chatter to see if he looks like a hunk or a nerd. You get the option to transmit via webcam to somebody in the chatroom. Is there a downloadable messaging program? Yes, OutPersonals.com has included this feature for the convenience of its members. If you go to the Groups, you’ll see the message boards overflowing with saucy details of sordid sex adventures.

Another feature in OutPersonals.com that not all dating sites have is that it has an online magazine. The site’s online magazine has articles penned by subscribers. The range of topics go from serious to outrageous. Trust me, you would not get bored perusing the stories. Naturally, do not expect everything you read to be true. There would always be people getting their kicks from fabricating stories. If you get tired of reading the articles, you could write your own for submission. To those who love to write, this feature is a great bonus.

One of the major sections of the site is the MY Network. This section would help you monitor your contacts. Members could post or share photos if they are so inclined. A buddy could write a testimonial that can be posted in your profile, telling the world that you are his best friend or that you are the best sex partner in your side of the world.

Just like many of its counterparts in the genre, membership at OutPersonals.com comes in Silver and Gold. Members of these categories could see and contact all members. Not only that, the site has advanced search options, special lists of partners, and thousands of videos to see. If you have Gold membership, then you would get the quickest services, an additional email storage, and a host of other features. If you want to be a free member, you would be able to respond to just 1 mail daily, maintain a Hot List, and send/receive instant messages.

Do you want a free trial first? Yes, trial membership is allowed, but you should expect limited means of communication. If you decide to become a member, here are the rounded-off costs: 3 months at $13/month, which is billable for one time at $50. Another is the 12-month period at 7$/month, and this is billable for one time at $120.

The relationship types for this site are as follows: gay, gay couple, bi couple, group, FTM, and MTF.

The search functionalities of OutPersonals.com are excellent. Take a look, they have All Parts of Profile, Keyword Search, Who’s Online, New Members, Who’s Viewed You, Most Popular Man Viewed, Love Dog Matches, and by distance/city/zip. The Love Dog Matches would notify you when somebody matching a description joins the list of members. What more can we gays ask for? The site has a full range of choices for your interests: Erotic Chat, Voyeurism, Exhibition, Fantasies, fetishes, Cross-Dressing, S&M, B&D, Group Sex, and One on One Sex.

Other interesting features of the site are the erotic photo gallery and the online store. The presence of these services makes the site more faceted than many of its competitors.

So, what is the bottom line here? I strongly recommend the site to gays (or even non-gays) who are looking for hookups and even friends. Even if you choose not to be a member, you could get some fun checking out the non-exclusive content of this dating site.

Hey guys, sorry about the lack of posts this week; have had a backlog of other work here that we really needed to plow through. Rest assured that we’re back on track now–thanks for your patience and understanding (and howling fury and hatemail.)

1. Chemical in sperm ‘may slow ageing process’.
2. Fun penis facts.
3. Dallas police looking for a man who sneaks into back yards, dances around naked and then runs away.
4. I had sex with furniture.
5. Date rape-preventing lip gloss.
6. 14-year-old girl trades sex for bacon double cheeseburger.
7. Google street view’s hall of WTF.
8. Saddest handjob in America.
9. The 5 stages of most relationships.
10. Sex favor FAIL.

1. Taiwanese woman denied divorce on grounds that her husband’s penis is too long.
2. Putting sex in the dictionary.
3. Firefox bug ended my relationship.
4. Coupe busted sexing it up… in the back of a police vehicle.
5. 17 ridiculously questionable t-shirts.
6. iPhone app to keep track of your girlfriend’s menstrual cycle.
7. 17-year-old sex offender escapes to have sex with his counselor.
8. Estate sales: where all the best people go to get anal beads.
9. Another creepy Japanese exercise video.
10. Best. Mayor. Ever.

Always nice to see people taking a bit of initiative to distinguish themselves in the casual sex marketplace. Sir, I applaud you.