I’m sure that like me you will be horrified to hear that this man, George Bartusak, was arrested and charged for the simple act of expressing his love of blow-up doll back-seat car sex in front of his local community. For shame, Cape Coral. For SHAME.

Quick Summary:

Hookup potential: 3/5 Features: 5/5 Design: 3/5 Content: 4/5

• An active and engaged community of fetish-lovers
• Slightly more tailored and attractive design and features than AFF
• Exercise more caution about meeting members than you would for a “vanilla” adult dating site

The Full Story:

ALT.com is AFF’s kink/fetish “adult dating” site. Despite being owned by AFF and representing a subset of their database they do seem to have made a reasonable effort with ALT to tailor the website to the targeted demographic. As the interface and features are largely the same as AFF’s, I’ll try to concentrate this review on the points of difference. (If you want to read the AFF review to learn more about the generic shared features, it’s over here.)

I made my account a while ago, and finally got it upgraded it to GOLD status the other day. I logged in. This is what the home page looks like. Yes, another Christmas tree. However to my eyes it’s a Christmas tree with a slightly cooler color scheme than this one, though I obviously can’t speak to everybody’s aesthetic of web palette.

The first thing I noticed once my eyes adjusted to all the visual clutter was that there was a banner ad for Penthouse  staring me in the face (Penthouse? Really? On a FETISH site?) I think the site just rotates the banners through the various FF properties, but it was still a bit of a “lolwut?” moment.

ALT does have several offerings that distinguish it from the regular AFF site. For example, in your profile there’s an extensive list of fetishes that you can classify yourself using. Doing so will make it easier for other people into similar kinks to find you, and will advertise your kink/s to the other members. To see for yourself what I mean by “extensive”, look at the full list  here. The site also provides members with a “Fetish consent worksheet” and the ALT.com toolbar, which is an IE plugin that lets you know when you have mail in your alt.com account, when your ALT friends are online, etcetera.

Figuring at this point that the best way to find out about the site is to chat to some of the people who use it, I logged into the “newbie” chat room. You can see a list of the chatrooms here. I’m thinking that the “Topical” rooms’ relative popularity gives an indication as to the levels of the site’s patronage amongst the various fetish groups and subcultures.

The chat rooms seemed active and full of genuine and intelligent people. The half-dozen or so I spoke to told stories tinged with ambivalence. Most had met people from the site, some had had good experiences, some had not. Those who had experienced both regarded the ALT.com “culture” as quite different to AFF’s. For one thing, they said, people on ALT.com tend to meet in public and socialize with others from the site first, before getting into anything sexual or kink-related. Because a lot of them enjoy inflicting or receiving pain of some sort, it’s important  for all parties to be confident that they haven’t just hooked up with a Patrick Bateman-style serial killer. This “feeling out” process can (and should) take longer in this sort of environment than in one that’s just about the quickie “vanilla” sex hook-ups.

Some of the women also talked to me about having been lied to and misled by men masquerading as women, doms masquerading as subs, unemployed bums masquerading as high-flying corporate executives, etc. As elsewhere on the Internet, people on the site are sometimes less than honest about their desires, appearances, financial statuses, etc. It does seem to be the case from what I was told, however, that it’s a site with a real community and one through which you will have no great difficulty meeting and interacting with people in the real world.

Overall I decided that I’d rate this site a little higher than the main Adult Friend Finder one due to its superior design and stronger community feel-though it’s obviously only going to work for you if you actually have some fetish or kink in the first place to explore.

How about the rest of you? Any experiences at ALT you’d like to share? Comment away!

Top 10 links for week beginning 04/26/2009

1. Craigslist under fire over erotic ads
2. Please, no fatties.
3. Dear Drunk Girl at Beer Garden…
4. Sexiest pair of lemons you’ve ever seen
5. Top 5 celebrity bikini bodies.
6. I heart Jews.
7. Russian hairdresser rapes robber for three days.
8. The 5 trademarks of a douchebag.
9. Whose Line Is It Anyway – Most Censored Game.
10. The Japanese are crazy: breast bowling.

I’m still waiting on getting my Alt.com account upgraded so I can review the site, but I thought I’d share this with you. It’s the email I received upon signing up there for a free membership.

As much as I’d like to believe that the site’s sexual broad-mindedness extends to an intellectual embrace of such conventional spiritual paradigms as Christianity, I think it’s more likely that someone’s email-robot was having a baaaad day. Still, I wet myself a little.

And then jerked it.

Nice quote too. Glad to see that this fringey Fetish/BDSM site is really All About The Love.

Hey there, working on another adult dating paysite at the moment. Just thought I’d post a video to keep you entertained as it’s in progress. I found this one particularly funny, but I’m a bit of an Anglophile, so YMMV. Keep it casual!

Top 10 links for week beginning 04/19/2009

1. Fleshlight makes him want to kill himself
2. Sexual attitudes differ (shocker!)
3. “A new raft of chastity books laments a hookup culture that is hurting young women. As one of those young women, I beg to disagree…”
4. Lose job. Have sex.
5. Mr. Pretty-Boy Farmer Still Has All His Fingers
6. “Pornography is what the end of the world looks like,” said professor Robert W. Jensen, who blamed capitalism, white supremacy, and racism for the spread of increasingly violent heterosexual pornography…
7. What’s the most messed up thing a person has said to you in bed?
8. Teen auctions virginity for £50k
9. Portugal’s Ceramic Penis Family Tradition
10. The 16 Most Overrated Sexual Acts of All Time

I wasn’t going to post today, but I came across this and couldn’t stop myself. Classic.

"im not gay...

Just a quick one today (you know you love it.) Hilarious prank played by a couple of DJs on a pair of phone sex operators. Enjoy.

Hey guys, starting a new regular feature this week. From now on, Monday’s post will be a “top 10 links from the casual sex web” type deal. The links will hopefully be at least peripherally related to the blog’s theme, though I can’t claim I won’t ever chuck anything in there because it’s SO DAMN COOL.

Without any further ado!

Top 10 links for week beginning 04/12/2009

1. Child born with second penis in the middle of his back
2. A town with a really rather unfortunate name…
3. Pregnant stick figures?
4. Should teens be prosecuted for sexting?
5. Lost in translation
6. How long could YOU last on a gay pirate ship?
7. The Japanese Penis Festival. Fun for the whole family (apparently!)
8. Expired domain name snipers embarrass the British Home Office
9. Don’t rape raccoons. You’ll regret it.
10. HILARIOUS spoof of “The Fast and the Furious”

I got quite a few email responses regarding the sexsearch.com review I did the other day. I thought I’d share my favorite one with you, sent to me by a (gasp!) genuine female user of their site:

I’ve been on this site maybe five months. Kinda a waste of time money and effort if you ask me. Most the people on here are one of three things. They are either:

1. creepy old men,
2. Too far away to play with in person, or
3. Treat you like shit. I’m here for sex,no strings. Not a bot, not a hooker. That’s hard for guys to understand.

The site’s easy enough to navigate and the gold room is kinda a cool bonus. Had some problems with the billing though. Maybe five months ago, I signed up for the 3 day trial and they tried to bill me for a month membership. I told them no, and that I don’t want a membership. They don’t listen, so I’ve had it ever since.

I’ve met ONE person off of here. I like fling.com I think it’s way better for meeting people. better quality of people too. that sounds bad, I know.

MUAH!

-Tessa (not her real name)

I thanked Tessa for her email and sent her back a link to our review. She responded:

You gotta be careful with fling. I LOVE it and it’s great for me. As a girl I get to send out 5 free messages a day without having to be a paying member, and I can reply to as many emails as I want. With guys, I have heard A LOT about people being able to hack into their accounts, steal their credit card info and whatnot. Last I checked, there was around 1 girl for every 20 guys on sites like that. There’s atleast a 1 in three chance that the girl ends up being fake, a bot or a hooker. Odds don’t look too good for guys, I know.

They have member posted porns and pictures …kinda cool. I checked out your review. you’re funny! Sounds pretty accurate too.

If you need me, you know where to find me. Have a beautiful day!

XOXO

-Tessa

I really found it hilarious that one of sexsearch.com‘s own paying members was recommending fling. Anyone else want to share their adult dating site experiences? Just hit us up using the “contact” link up the top of the page and send your story through. Take care!

Quick Summary:

Hookup potential: 1/5    Features: 1/5    Design: 3/5    Content: 3/5

• It’s a pile of shit and a huge scam. Don’t use it. Stay away. Seriously.
  
• Most (all?) of the attractive female profiles are fake. “Real” females get hundreds of emails a day.
• All the sites seems designed to do is try to upsell cams and other porn sites, even to “gold” members

The Full Story:

Soooo… fire up my browser, punch sexsearch.com into the address bar, and look around for someplace to sign up for an account.  Odd that I am not presented with much of an option to sign up straight away as a gold member, rather than having to do a free signup and then upgrade, but I can’t find anywhere obvious that will let me, so I dutifully create my free profile and log in.

I am now presented with this screen. Welcome to 1999 much? Well, still better than AFF‘s, I guess. At least it’s relatively uncluttered and coherent. And it sorta looks like I can do some stuff now, right? Wrong. Pretty much anything I click on with this page takes me to this one. Yay for me, as I’m planning to upgrade so I can check the site out! Would kind of be annoying if I was expecting to do anything crazy with my free profile, like, oh, browse the site, right? Right!

On top of that I keep getting bugged by instant messages from fake profile chicks with names like “sexycute69″ and “hornyladyLA”. they want to meet me for sex SO BAD RIGHT NOW! They’re rubbing their little fishy stank places raw just thinking about me! Of course I’m blocking popups, so the site helpfully tells me how I can unblock them so I can MSG_TEH_HOT_CHIX_HOO_WANT_SEX0RZ. So I do! And suddenly every other window opens a popup trying to sell, you know, porn! Fancy! I try to message back all those hot chicks who wanted me a moment ago, and you guessed it: it’s PLZ UPGRD time again. Slicker than a pillowcase made of diarrhea!

Well, regardless. As I have been intending to all along, I upgrade to GOLD membership status, drooling at the thought of all the access to LIVE WEBCAMS and PRIVATE VIDEO CHAT I’m about to enjoy. Unfortunately (and as you’ve almost certainly already guessed) that’s not quite how it works out. First of all it takes AGES before my access is even granted – I’m not sure what kind of vetting process is involved, but I haven’t seen another site yet with one that takes as long. To add to the joy, while I wait I don’t have any more functionality than I did with the free profile.

*drum fingers*

*scratch nuts*

When my account finally is approved, things don’t improve much. Every “Member Feature” link is an upsell. Every “Chat” link takes me to this page, which is just a  bunch of live.jasmin.com webcam feeds. It’s a page I’d have access to for free, anyway! So all I’m really getting for my “exclusive, premium, gold” membership and the $35/month I’m pissing into it is the basic ability to contact people (the few real people who exist) with profiles, and access to some (stale, pedestrian) porn through the “gold room”–a subsection with HORRIBLE “twitchy” navigation, by the way, which is CONSTANTLY trying to upsell me to whatever, in a distracting “blinking neon billboard” sort of way.

Fighting back mounting feelings of disgust and disappointment, I turn to the last feature left: searching for sex. After making a few contacts with some of the site’s “women” (reasons for using the word reservedly will be forthcoming) I find that, predictably, they fall into the same old tired categories. Those categories being:

1. Bots/Scripts/Programs/Shills/UNPEOPLE PEOPLE, PEOPLE.
2. Fatties/chubbies/fuglies/oldies.
3. Shopworn 30s-middleaged swinger chicks with mental issues. Spend any time on adult dating sites and you’ll get to know the type.
4. That’s it. That’s all.

The proportion of fake profiles to real seems to be even higher than on uLust, which is saying something. Some of the group 2 and 3 girls I communicated with tell me that they are buried by emails, messages, etc from male site members–some of them getting hundreds a day.

So… yeah. Nothing very much positive to say about this scummy toilet bowl of a website at all, really. Even the porn content’s not that great; certainly not worth the price of admission. I guess if you’re one of the group 2 or 3 females mentioned, you’ll find no shortage of guys here willing to sort you out on short notice? Cold comfort?

The cancellation link (which you’ll be wanting it fairly quickly if you’re masochistic enough to join this site) is sort of hard to find, but at least it wasn’t difficult to unsubscribe once I located it.

Account options-> Account Options main->help Desk->Customer Service->Billing Information->Click the Billing company.

Avoid.

Just a very brief update today, I’m working on a sexsearch.com review that will be up hopefully tomorrow. Here’s about the funniest Flight of the Conchords song ever. It might even be marginally relevant. Lovin’ the smoov.

Stay saucy, people.

So, slow morning. Had a bit of a surf about for LULZ. This post is the not-quite-satisfactory product of that search.

For some reason I find this t-shirt hilarious. I can’t explain it. I just look at it and laugh until tears pour down my face and I collapse into a big. blubbering, hysterical disaster.

This, on the other hand, just grosses me out.

And reading these lead to me getting up off the floor and, uh, “taking a moment.”

Excelsior!