How to Find Sex: the Art of the One Night Stand – Part 18 “Potential Problems”

Lyla Marsh, Author and Sexpert

Lyla Marsh, Author and Sexpert

Potential Problems

In this section we look at possible problems and how to solve them. As sex can be a volatile thing involving emotions and hormones, there will inevitably be problems of some kind and at some stage. How you handle these problems may bring the two of you closer together rather than ruin the night, or consequently your relationship.

The bottom line is, take her problems seriously. Don’t dismiss them lightly or ignore them altogether. Obviously this will tell her you’re a complete jerk who couldn’t care less how she feels.

Adjust your speed

This refers both to the speed of your thrusting, which we looked at in earlier, and also the speed at which you’re trying to get her into bed. After a few hours of heavy petting, if she’s reluctant to continue, don’t pressure her. Think of things more long-term and tell yourself you’d rather have her when she’s completely ready. You don’t want her to regret it later.

She’s talking long-term commitment

This is enough either to scare a man off completely, or make him feel bad that he’s somehow leading her on. What most men don’t realize is that women aren’t dumb, they know how important sex is to a man and the lengths he’ll go to get it. However, her reasons for dating are to find a long-term partner. So it’s important to be comforting and honest. Tell her how much you like her; admit to not knowing what you want in the long-term but stress that you will want a serious girlfriend in the future and that you’re enjoying getting to know her.

She has a boyfriend

This is a potential minefield, and the answer to this dilemma depends on each man’s personal ethics. If you care, don’t date her or sleep with her. If you don’t care, well then it’s not a problem for you, is it?

She talks about having a baby

Even if she’s not referring to you specifically as the potential father, be very careful. Women know that men freak out at the idea of parenthood, so if she’s throwing this topic around then she may be testing your response. When having sex with her, do not depend on her to provide contraception.

She doesn’t want to use any contraception

Unless you’ve made a mutual decision together to conceive a baby, run very fast in the opposite direction. To be fair, she may have just got caught up in the heat of the moment. If so, don’t lose it entirely, but proceed with extreme caution. There could well be more trouble brewing in the future.

She’s recently broken up with her boyfriend

At this time she’s feeling incredibly vulnerable and looking for something comforting and hassle-free. In this situation it’s okay to tell her that you’re looking for something fun and not serious, and this admission may well boost your credibility with her.

The downside may be that she’s emotional or feeling negative about men in general, depending on the nature of her breakup.

She complains about how she looks

A lot of women feel nervous before sex, partly because it means you’ll be seeing her completely naked for the first time. Every woman has parts of her body she’s dissatisfied with, and during sex she may feel so insecure about them that she brings them up. You must stop what you’re doing and address her problem. Reassure her that you love her butt/stomach/breasts/whatever, and that you wouldn’t change a thing.
Do not say something like, “I love your squishy stomach” or “I like big butts.” She will kill you, or at the very least, never see you again.

She cries during sex

If a woman cries during sex it is not necessarily because she’s unhappy. Often the hormones rushing around her body make her a bit emotional, and this may manifest itself through tears. Again, it would be bad form to carry on and ignore her. Stop, hold her and talk to her for a few moments. She should calm down after this. From what she’s told you and her responses, you should be able to judge whether to continue or not.

She has her period

This doesn’t have to be a problem, depending on your attitude. Some men and women prefer not to have sex during this time, which for most women is three to five days every month. Others don’t mind it at all. For a woman, sex just before and during her period can be great because it alleviates a few classic PMS symptoms such as cramps and irritability.

During her cycle, a woman usually desires sex the most just before her period and during ovulation (about two weeks after her period). She usually feels less desire just after her period, but that won’t prevent her from having a great orgasm.


3 Responses to “How to Find Sex: the Art of the One Night Stand – Part 18 “Potential Problems””

  1. cadebeIdgeHat
    March 23, 2009 at 12:29 pm #

    hot side..
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  2. chuckles77
    April 1, 2009 at 2:55 pm #

    dude i used to have a girl who cried during sex used to freak me out. needlss to say that didnt last long hahah

  3. Daniel Paul Edward Tyson-Young
    March 7, 2010 at 5:42 pm #

    I wish I could be thear to hold him, whilst he cries through sex, I really need to fucking be theafr to hold him !!Q!!Q.

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