How to Find Sex: the Art of the One Night Stand – Part 7 “The First Date”

Lyla Marsh, Author and Sexpert

Lyla Marsh, Author and Sexpert

Like the phone call, keep it short and casual. This is a time to further win her trust and interest, not the time to bed her, although if you’re very attracted to each other it could well happen anyway. Just don’t expect it, or pressure her.

Go somewhere like a coffee shop, for a few drinks, or somewhere you can talk. For women talking is a huge aphrodisiac. If you’re both active, you could go hiking. You could go sightseeing together. The point is, don’t spend a lot of money on this first date.

Don’t go somewhere where there is loud music, don’t go to a movie. You may have a good time but no progress is being made in your seduction.

(One tip: If you meet her friends or family, make an effort to impress them, because their opinion of you will matter to her. Try and remember their names.)

The most important thing to remember is listen to her. I can’t stress this enough as so many men drone on about themselves the whole time on a first date. Why would she want to see you again if you did this? To learn more about your experiences as a head prefect at high school? No way! Listen to her and she’ll be dying to see you again. Show her that you remember what she said at your first meeting.

The point is that it is not difficult to please a woman if you pay attention to her particular needs. Then she will pay attention to yours.

In order to get a second date, the first date should be light, a bit mysterious, and not have any bad feelings. Think about what you want the outcome of this date to be. Most likely you’ll want it to lead on to another meeting, so during this time you’ll want to create some romantic feelings. You do this through asking the odd romantic question which stems from some story you tell. Remember you need to contextualize. To ask her out of the blue what her first kiss was like will seem abrupt and make her uncomfortable. You need to create a reason for asking, such as a discussion (real or made-up) that you were having with your flatmate, then ask her opinion. You’ll get to learn her attitude to sex and love, and also create an association in her mind between you and romance. If you stimulate romantic feelings in her, you’ll do just that.

Another aim of the first date is to find out what she likes to do, which will enable you to plan the second date with her enjoyment in mind.


5 Responses to “How to Find Sex: the Art of the One Night Stand – Part 7 “The First Date””

  1. jr
    February 23, 2009 at 6:37 am #

    i want two fuck thats it

    • admin
      February 23, 2009 at 2:15 pm #

      Well, not sure if you mean “to” or “two” here, but assuming the former I’d advise waiting for the second part of the series. It’s much more focused on the sex part than the seduction aspect. If the latter, I think that’s probably a whole ‘nother series of articles.

  2. Woman from Europe
    August 18, 2009 at 10:32 am #

    There must be something I do not understand here. I thought “one night stand” meant two people having sex on the night (or whatever) they met, and then going their separate ways. I can’t see what a discussion of “first dates” (with the implication that sex is going to happen on the “second date”) is doing here. A date that does not end with sex has no place in a ONS, by definition; and a date that has to be made, that is, that follows a first meeting (where the partners did not have sex) violates that definition too.
    At least, that’s what it’s like in Europe. And what it’s been like for me and my friends (male and female) so far. But of course I am open to being enlightened…

  3. Daniel Paul Young Hitler
    March 10, 2010 at 9:45 am #

    I want to coress, then fuck.

  4. Daniel Paul Young Hitler
    March 13, 2010 at 5:58 pm #

    I should be dateing soon, hopefully. I really want to make a boyfreind out of a man named Josh, but I am tempted to drift at the moment as my needs have to be met.

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