How to Find Sex: the Art of the One Night Stand – Part 3 “Grooming and Feeling Confident”

Lyla Marsh, Author and Sexpert

Lyla Marsh, Author and Sexpert

Now this doesn’t mean you have to constantly check yourself out in the mirror like the Fonz in Happy Days, but it’s amazing how many men don’t even bother to wash themselves before trying to bed a woman. Do you really think she’s going to fall for that egg-stain on your shirt? Making yourself look and smell good doesn’t take very long and believe me, it makes a huge difference.

Clothes
It’s not about making yourself into something you’re not, it’s making the most out of what you already have. So you need to create your own style, wear something you feel comfortable in. Own the clothes, don’t let the clothes own you. So, if you don’t like that Gucci suit, don’t wear it. Even torn jeans can be sexy provided they’re clean. Remember, how you look is the first impression you make, so make the most of it!
If you have no idea what looks good and hate the very idea of shopping, ask your sister or a female friend to help you. Women enjoy this so finding someone is unlikely to be a problem.

Exercise
Again, this is about being physically healthy, not Fabio, so don’t cringe. This is about sex appeal. Woman cannot appreciate enough a man who is in good shape. If he exercises regularly, a man increases his supply of testosterone and therefore his sex drive. Who could say no to that? So get into the habit of exercising regularly, you’ll have more energy, self-confidence, and when she strips you off you’ll have nothing to hide.

Washing
You want to appeal to a woman’s every sense, so you want to smell as good as possible. Most women prefer a man who wears a scent that is fresh and subtle – don’t overwhelm her with cologne. Well-known brands such as Armani, Givenchy, Hugo Boss and Ralph Lauren are always popular.

In the shower, a body wash is fine, and use a masculine exfoliant for your face from time to time. Don’t forget deodorant – Lynx is recommended. Also a moisturiser for your face is a good idea; don’t you love the idea of her stroking your face?

Stinky Breath
This is the ultimate turn-off, so be careful to stay away from garlic and onions when going on a date. Always carry gum or mints with you, and brush your tongue as well as your teeth. Floss your teeth from time to time.
If you smoke and she doesn’t, don’t kiss her after a fag, you’ll taste like an ashtray.

Facial and Body Hair
Some men have a weak chin or bad acne scars, in which cases a beard or mustache nicely disguises them. Some men suit facial hair, but often it’s a matter of taste and some women go for it while some don’t. You could try asking the woman you’re interested in how she feels about it. Also remember that stubble can cause a rash on a woman when you kiss her. Not so sexy!

Hair is kept healthy by a good diet, regular exercise and use of a good shampoo and conditioner. There are many hair products on the market for men now.

If you suffer from thinning hair or a receding hairline, don’t despair. Try shaving the rest off like Andre Agassi. Or you could try one of those hair-replacement creams, such as Rogaine. Do whatever feels most comfortable for you, or do nothing. Some women find a bald head very sexy.

About body hair, its sexiness depends on its condition. Some women love to bury their faces in chest hair, to roll it around their fingers. If you are worried about excessive hair however, you could try electrolysis treatment or waxing. Some women have a thing about bare-chested men, which has a beauty of its own.

All men should use maintenance on their body hair. Just like you should cut your fingernails and toenails, so should you tidy up certain hairs, such as nostril hairs and pubic hairs. It’s simple maintenance.

Body Movement
You don’t need to be the male lead in Swan Lake, but a certain grace translates, in a woman’s mind, to the bedroom. When you’re changing positions in bed, or undressing, you don’t want to elbow her in the eye or tread on her leg. If dancing’s not your thing, do a martial arts class or anything to improve your body movement.

Feeling Good Before you Make a Move
We’ve talked about preparing yourself physically for a woman you want, but what about mentally? When you approach a woman there is always a risk of rejection, and a man who is a bag of nerves is unlikely to impress. So, how do you make it work for you?

In part 5 we will talk about reading her signals and using your own to communicate before you have to say a word. This will save you a lot of rejection and give you the confidence to know she’s interested. Here are some other ways to prepare before you start seducing:

1) Know who you are and who you’re looking for.
First look at yourself, your interests, passions, faults. Maybe ask some friends what they think. This will make your first conversation with her easier, as you’ll feel more secure about yourself.

Next, think about what kind of woman you’re looking for. Whether you’re looking for a one-night stand or something more, you’re obviously thinking about having sex. So think about the type of woman you’d like. Is she tall, short, big-breasted, blond or brunette? Refine your desires first and it will be easier to target women you want.

2) Know that there will be women out there who want you.
If the shortest, geekiest, ugliest man can get laid, so can you. Once you feel secure about who you are and what you want, get out there and start looking. You will be the initiator, you may get rejected for whatever reason. But you have to keep putting yourself out there, learning from your mistakes, and moving towards that goal: you and her having sex.

Now you know where you’re coming from, the type of woman you’re looking for, you need to get out there and start flirting with them. So where are these sexy, beautiful and available women? To be revealed tomorrow!

2 Responses to “How to Find Sex: the Art of the One Night Stand – Part 3 “Grooming and Feeling Confident””

  1. lahondaknitter
    January 8, 2010 at 11:40 pm #

    I don’t know if you’ve mentioned in the series how important it is to clean your environment. There is no bigger turn off for a woman to than go into the bathroom and be afraid to sit down. Makes you wonder what might be in bed with you, other than that cute man.

    In other words, clean up your apartment too!

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