“I don’t like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.”

Titular apologies first of all to Charles Bukowski for swiping one of his lines, I know he’d forgive me.

I just wanted to share an interesting email that I received today from one of our site members. I’ll let him tell you his story:

On December 19,2008, I finally was released from prison after 20 years and 9 months. I am not homosexual and found no attraction to men on the inside (as some do). I stayed true to myself and true to my nature of being straight. Thus, I haven’t had sex now for 21 years.

Once released the State of Texas placed me on a monitor and put me on house arrest to where all I can do is leave my house for employment purposes and for medical attention, should I need any. “But,” I cannot get out of the house to find a date or get laid !! I am about to go nuts out here !! And the Web sites do me no good because no one is interested in coming to a ex-convicts house to meet him, I can’t get anyone to chat with and I am just stuck.

Okay, I was a college student a University of Houston and got into a fight with campus security guards 21 years ago. Damn!!! Do the citizens of Texas ever consider a debt to society paid. I did my time and now that I am out I can’t even get laid !!!

E-mail me at CENSORED and tell me what you think about my situation.

I couldn’t help but feel for the guy. I told him I’d post his story up on the blog and forward any responses to his email address.

I’m sure there must be a few NSA-sex fans in his area who’d consider helping him out. The guy should at least be able to find someone to chat with, for fuck’s sake. (I don’t get a “he might cut off my head and stick it in his fridge” vibe from him, for what it’s worth.)

What do you think, ladies? Help a brother out?

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5 Responses to ““I don’t like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.””

  1. Amy
    March 24, 2009 at 7:47 am #

    Um, no one goes to jail for 21 years for getting into a fight.

    He *obviously* did something to warrant 20 years in jail (which in most states is the equivalent of a life sentence, btw). Thus, he wouldn’t be worth me giving him the time of day.

    • admin
      March 24, 2009 at 2:20 pm #

      Hey Amy.

      Reading between the lines, it looks like the fight with the campus security guards ended in someone being killed. Don’t know what the penalty for that sort of thing is everywhere, but I’m aware that Texas isn’t regarded as the most lenient of states.

      If the guy’s telling the truth about his story, and my between-line-reading take is accurate I’d definitely say he’d paid his debt, wouldn’t you?

  2. Art Guy
    May 11, 2009 at 9:09 pm #

    I hate assumming anything, but this fellow sounds good because he’s a con. Once a con always a con. I googled around and the only thing I could fine was a “security guard beaten to death with his own flashlight” but without a name I can’t confirm. Would I like my daughter stopping by for some overdue sex for this fellow, fuck no, especially if there is a flashlite on the kitchen counter. Doesn’t he remember anything about hookers? Surly he can get one of them to stop by. And…if he feels he has paid his debt to society, why does he feel he must tell everyone he’s a con? I smell a rat…Art Guy

  3. Daniel Paul Edward Tyson-Young
    March 2, 2010 at 5:16 pm #

    I think it’s a shame that within prisions, they don’t even have pornography.
    I have an aquaintance who was arrested under the terroism laws, and sent to a concentraion camp, which within the country I can not disclose, but on the other fact being that I can disclose, the country he was in had links to Britain and America.
    He told me that they are not allowed to look at pornography in ut thear, and he told me that they have pictures of women up on the walls, with thear breasts smired out with plaster.
    He tells me told me that he couldnt hack it so he had to make out he was a sex offender, then he has told me that he was sent to a specialist concentration camp, whear thear wear items in thear to turn him into a millitary soldure, such as items in thear to make him think that he was being stalked, and a box in which to sweep the floor saying ”do not feed the birds” so he thought that thear was birdflu sweeping the prison.
    He eventually came ti the conclusion that the whole wing was dyeing from bird flu, and that the goovernment of that prison wear secretley disposeing of any bodys whilst he was locked up, untill he dyed from it himself.
    He tells me he could hear people being physically sick, and when questionrd in church what religous sector he came from as a young child, he could not even thathom the words properley from his mouth, and came out with a completley diferent religious organisation.
    I asked him if any harm had actually come to him whilst in this prison for war crimes, and he told me that somone had spiked his soup with acid whilst on the main wing, and someone had laced his food with berries on the sex offenders wing.
    I asked him if anyone had bullied him, and he told me that one guard told him to stick his hand in stagnent water.
    He did not pass any coment on the unit within the camp whear drugs wear admistrated to him.
    What does he do now? he still helps out in Killing the Taliban.
    What was he in prison for? he was in prison because he belived thear was a taliban soldure trying to execute him, so he tryd to do something about it.

  4. Daniel Paul Young Hitler
    March 27, 2010 at 12:24 pm #

    If this is my Great Grandfather by any chance, and chance be it that he has been sent to prison again, which is unlikeley, Texas is in big trouble.

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