I was just trolling about and found this story by “captainmeatballs” over at ilXor.com. Cracked me up.

Once I was in a pizza place in Connecticut. There was this really hot waitress working the pies like no tomorrow. Something about the way she said sausage that made me horny. “Sauseeg”. Man did my sauseeg get hard when she talked. We flirted through must of our interactions. At the end of the night I asked her for her number and what time she got off work. She said she was hanging out late tonight to close up. It was her parents shop. She asked if I wanted to stay and help. I did. We stayed late and we were so attracted to each other that we started going at it right there on the counter. We pushed the Jimmy Fund Donation can aside and laid out some flour on the counter top. We stripped butt naked and I told her to get the meatballs and sauseeg. She proceeded to shove two meatballs inside my rectum. It was hot. I rubbed her all over with capicola and mortadell. I made her my little italian sub and ate the shit out of her.

I’ll never look at a meatball (or a “sauseeg”) the same way again. Anyone else got any anonymous sex stories they’d like to share?

While you’re thinking about it, also think about how much you wish you owned this t-shirt.

Yeah dress up. As a COP.

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